Happy New Year!

Wow.

Can you say long overdue?

2010 became a bit of a crazy, hectic, traumatic year for me....for us as a family. I'm praying that 2011 is much better.

I learned a long time ago that I rarely stick with my "New Years Resolutions" so I'm not really making any. I am setting goals for this year though.

1. Write on my blog regularly.
2. Quit drinking Mt. Dew...for good.
3. Focus on my relationship with my husband.
4. Work on sticking to a budget.

I'm hoping that writing on my blog will give me a release as it used to and allow me to sit back and reflect on life and maybe not focus on the negatives (which I tended to do a lot during 2010). I need this for myself. To look back on in 2, 5, 10 years and laugh and cry as I remember all the little things that seem a distant memory.

By quitting the Dew...again...I'm hoping to work on getting my weight under control. Because I will also be starting my dance class again on Thursday nights. No Mt. Dew + Exercise = Healthier, Skinnier Lisa. Win-Win.

You'll notice that it doesn't say "focus on the kids or family". It says focus on my husband. There's a reason for that. Somewhere along the way, we have lost ourselves as a couple. We get so wrapped up in all the family stuff and parenting and dealing with the schools and a special needs child and bills and laundry and dishes and, and, and.... Well, we've lost who WE are together. As well as who we are individually. We started seeing a therapist and she's really encouraging us to have "date nights" every 3 weeks at least and then some time for ourselves weekly. The key to this is SCHEDULING. We are really trying though. After spending a whole day (blessed be! seriously an entire day with my husband and no kids!) it was easier to remember why we got married and love each other.

Ahhh, the elusive budget. I've tried setting budgets in the past...however, it was MY budget and not a family budget. Now, Chuck and I are going to work together to accomplish this and set some goals so that we can not be flying by the seat of our pants all the time.

So there you have it. Those are my goals. Somewhere in there fits the kids, chores, school, Pure Romance, friends, work and sleep. But I feel that I'll have a partner this year.

A Mother's Life Changing Prayer

Dear Lord,

Please give me the strength to face every challenge, the peach I need to hear Your voice and patience when I feel angry or stressed. Help me be kind and caring to those around me. Let me be an example of Your grace and love to my family. Help me to not raise my voice, but to raise my children to serve and love You. Fill my life and my home with Your joy. Amen

Life is a test, right?

Do you ever feel like you're drowning?

You hear about drowning in water.

Drowning in debt.

Drowning in alcohol.

Drowning in sadness.

Look it up on google...there tons of opportunities and ways to "drown".

It's so cliche to say it but that's how I feel today. I feel like I'm drowning in life.

Mentally, physically, emotionally-I'm just exhausted.

I'm glad that school is over. I'm glad that soccer is over (even though now baseball for Zachary has started.) I'm glad that this weekend is Gizzard Fest where I'm having a Pure Romance booth because that means that the planning and prepping for it will be done.

I need a mental health day from work. Problem is I just don't have the time to take it...seems like everyone else's needs come before mine. I guess that's what being a mom is all about, right? I know that there are people in my life who feel that I don't do enough. I'm not home enough. I'm not motherly enough. I'm just not....enough of anything.

That weighs heavily on me too. Because as a mom and wife and daughter and friend and consultant and a human, I want to be. But I feel like I'm burning both ends of the candle and in doing so am not good enough at anything.

Shoot, my brain is like swiss cheese!!! Last night I forgot the simplest task of getting garbage bags from the store. The day before? Forgot about the retirement party for the kids' principal. The day before that? Forgot to give the dog medicine for his skin allergies. Do you see a pattern? The list goes on.....day after day I don't seem to have the time to get it all done, the energy to do it nor the memory to be able to remember all the minor things that I need to take care of. And then I feel like a failure for not being able to accomplish the deeds that I *should* be doing and need to be doing.

And to think...."experts" keep saying to take time for yourself. I read the articles and I think "when?" There's always one more load of laundry to do. One more phone call to make or email to send. One more contact to make in order to work my business. I can't even think straight let alone try to schedule in time for me. I used to find the morning shower as "me" time where I would think and contemplate....and lately all I can do in the shower is run through all the things that I have to do that day...in between yelling asking the kids to keep it down so their sister can sleep in.

Last weekend (pics have to be uploaded) the kids ran the Michigan Mile. Zachary wasn't happy with his time and wants to improve. I told him that I think it's wonderful and I'd love to help him towards that goal as I need to get more fit and active too. So we're going to train together and I'll work on the Couch to 5k program. Problem is.......when?
So, as a working mom, how do you fit everything into a 24 hour period and still keep your sanity and the days straight and all the bills paid on time and the kids and husband happy? Then how do you fit in YOU time? I'm interested in possibilities because I'm obviously not there....

Until tomorrow-Keep on buzzing,

Lisa

Pure Romance and Therapy collide!

Last week, I received a call from a physical therapist for a therapy center here in the greater Lansing area who deals with physical therapy to help with bladder control. A friend of a friend attends this therapy center and they got talking during their session (probably trying to keep the clients mind off the pain of the therapy!) and Pure Romance came up.

I'm so excited that it did!! This therapist recommends to her patients the use of vibrators, ben wa balls and similar toys to help strenghthen the vaginal walls which in turn also helps with the strength of the bladder. Therefore, increasing the ability to control the bladder.

Why?

Well because the bladder and the vagina are located in basically one and the same space. Stregnthen one and the other benefits as well. Due to child birth, menopause, age or other medical reasons, often times a woman's bladder muscles and vaginal muscles become loose. The old adage of "if you don't use it, you lose it" holds true. If you aren't exercising those muscles, the muscles will stop working for you and doing what you need them to do.

I know. After having 3 children, I can't cough, laugh hard, sneeze or turn the wrong way without the worry of bladder problems and therefore am constantly crossing my legs. And regardless of how funny my husband and children think it is that mom pees her pants....it's embarrassing!! I will be the first one to admit that I've tried to do the Kegel exercises that are highly recommended and effective and while I'll start out doing them well, I'll get side-tracked and forget that I was supposed to be working those muscles. That's where the ben wa balls come in so handy! These small balls are inserted inside you, and with some instruction, help you to do the Kegel exercises the correct way and remind you that you need to continue working on those exercises!

However, often times women feel uncomfortable going into the all too often seedy, trashy, men-frequented adult stores where they'd be leered at (I know....) and would love to have an opportunity to talk with a woman in the comfort of their own home who knows about the health benefits, as well as the fun benefits, to our products!

So, tonight, I'm going to meet the said therapist and take her some information regarding Pure Romance products that may be of interest to their clientele in particular: Fresh Start, Ben Wa Balls, Vaginal Dialaters as well as the full line of vibrators and toys. Pure Romance by Lisa catalogs and information will be included in their client informational guide that is available to all clients in the office.

I feel so privelaged. THIS is one of the reasons I love Pure Romance and I love doing it. I enjoy helping woman. Empowering them to take control of their own body, learn and know their own body in a safe, comfortable, one on one way. It makes my heart soar to know that I may help some of these woman get control of their bodies back.

Until tomorrow-keep on buzzing!

Lisa

My Husband Rocks: MHR Friday

I feel its far past the time to revive the MHR Friday post.

What is MHR? Well, its a post every Friday where you delve into why your husband ROCKS...whether it's a list of things that he's done that week, something special he's done lately, or just a general post of why he rocks your socks...but a post non-the-less all about the most important man in your life so he knows how much you appreciate him.

Because honestly, in my house, I know I don't say those three words enough. No...not I love you. I do say that. But "I appreciate you."

And right now...I appreciate what a great dad Chuck is. I know sometimes being a parent to a special/high needs child can be tough....but Chuck does a great job with it. He's so hands on and attends all the IEP meetings, goes to the school to deal with the suspensions, talks to the teacher/aide daily as well as does fun things like taking Zachary fishing (which is what he's doing while I'm typing this now....) or Lucas skateboarding on his new skateboard.

I appreciate the fact that he cooked dinner every night this week...except for the night he took Zachary to baseball. And not just macaroni and cheese and hot dogs. Pork curry with homemade curry sauce. Steak and chicken on the grill with fiesta vegetables. Spaghetti with garlic toast.

Doing dishes and keeping them up on a nightly basis. I hate HATE the dishes....with a passion. therefore I really appreciate Chuck for doing this particular chore!

I appreciate that he hasn't yelled and screamed at me for messing things up this week. Enough said.

This week is over...but the weekend is just starting and I'm really looking forward to another weekend at home with my loving husband and awesome children.

So until tomorrow-keep on buzzing!

Lisa

IEP, EI, BP, Oh My!

Today was the last IEP (Individualized Education Plan) meeting with Zachary’s “team” for the school year. (Zachary is classified as EI, emotionally impaired, for his ADHD and bipolar)

I’m relieved that this year is OVER. It has been an absolutely HORRIBLE year.

Let’s recap just a bit: He was kicked out of school numerous times for throwing his desk over, pushing his teacher, and finally pushing over a bookcase.

That was the last straw for us and we had him moved permanently in May-full day to the special ed classroom where he stayed with his full time aide and had one on one instruction with her based on what his teacher was teaching in the classroom (since he’s actually at/above grade level in all subjects).

While he still was obstinate and refusing to do work, at least he was no longer a physical threat and didn’t even try to be a physical threat.

Why? My perception (and as my husband always reminds me perception defines reality) is that he was in a constant power struggle with his teacher and his first aide. There was no trust there from Zachary…he didn’t feel that they were on his side.

And its no wonder. His first aide was down right confrontational with him and us. Told me that she doesn’t argue with him…right after she told me that she ripped the pencil from his hand (after repeatedly being told that showing a sign of aggression like this will only escalate the situation) and when he balked at it and said “hey you can’t do that!” she said “I can, I will, and I just did.” Um, yea. Way to get into a pissing match with a 7 year old.

His teacher yesterday said that she would sneak up behind him and when he was least expecting it, rip the pencil from his hand.

Does anyone see a pattern?

Seriously, I understand that my child is difficult. TRUST ME, I understand this I’ve lived with him for 8 years now, but really?

I’m so glad that the special ed department is finally, fully involved. They’ve called out the teacher and the aide for not following the behavioral plan (BP) set forth. I wanted to cry for joy. Finally!!

And today, I got to meet his 3rd grade teacher…and right off the bat, she had an AWESOME idea!!! I wanted to jump for joy. An idea! All her own that made perfect sense and would truly help! She’s a younger teacher (no offense to the older teachers) but I’m really hoping that this means that maybe she’ll be a little more open and accepting to trying new things, doing things maybe not in the “norm” and not telling us every step of the way that “it’s not feasible in her classroom.”

So as it stands now, Zachary will go to his 3rd grade classroom for announcements and Pledge of Allegiance, then go to the resource room with his aide for English/Language Arts and Math…both of which he’s very proficient at but which they open the room up during and make it into one HUGE room with the other 3rd grade class….and 50 kids in one classroom? Wow. Way too overstimulating. Then he’ll go back to 3rd grade for lunch and the afternoon subjects of science and social studies.

I’m hopeful for next year.

But then again I always am.

A quick funny before I sign off…

Zachary was reading a Hardy Boys book to me tonight before bedtime. They were talking about finding a scalp. I asked Zachary if he knew what a scalp was. He responded: “Yep! It’s the head from here (indicated the mid forehead) back with the hair. But I wonder how they get it off….do they use a potato peeler or a knife?”

I chuckled. He said “What? I’m serious!”

Until tomorrow-Keep on Buzzing!

Lisa

Fried Green Tomatoes & Hump Day Help!

So today is Hump Day. I love hump day. Hump is just a super fun word to say. And it reminds me of one of my favorite things in the world.

I always start off my Pure Romance parties by introducing myself and letting them know that I started with Pure Romance to have fun and to talk about my favorite thing in the world which is sex. One of my rules for the evening is for them to have fun as well….and not just here for the evening, but also my goal is for them to learn something new, exciting and interesting and buy something to take home and have fun there too!

So hump day is the perfect day to talk about sex. Now, what exactly does sex have to do with Fried Green Tomatoes? Nothing, necessarily with the food…but actually a lot to do with the movie. There is an underlying tone in the movie that has to do with Evelyn (played by Kathy Bates) trying to spice up her relationship and romance before realizing that she has to be happy with herself and know herself before she can truly be happy in her relationship. (At least that’s the gist I get from the movie…and since this is my blog…that’s what matters.)

I was watching Fried Green Tomatoes last night, enjoying the scene where she goes to the “Relationship Seminar” with her good friend and the facilitator tells them that they are going to learn how to put the spark and the romance back into their marriage. Evelyn sits there for the entire class and visualizes herself making a dress out of clear plastic wrap and meeting her husband at the door in just that and nothing else.

Evelyn was on the right track in my book! What man wouldn’t want to see their wife in something scanty and kinda see through that they can rip off and have no worries about how much it cost? One of the new products that Pure Romance just came out with is called “Tie Me Up” tape…yes, I know it sounds kinky and if you’re into that kind of thing, this is definitely for you! However, it’s got multiple purposes!!! Imagine using this tape that sticks to itself to make a dress or bra and panties or anything that your mind can imagine to dress up in? Maybe a little choker collar and wristlets? Meet your husband at the door or be laying out on the bed for him after he gets out of the shower after a long hard day of work….again, $12 worth of fun that he can rip off of you in an animalistic nature when the time is right and not worry about the cost of the clothing ;) Win-win situation!

Later on in the movie she goes to another seminar where they all lay around and look at their own vaginas in a mirror. While I wouldn’t actually advocate doing this in a crowded room with your friends…I could say there may be some merit in doing this. I always advocate that women must know their own bodies and know how to really work their bodies so they can tell their spouses how to make that sometimes elusive O happen…or maybe just more explosive!! There is a fantastic book out there called “Tickle your Fancy” and it details all the female erogenous zones and not just where they are at but how to best make them work for you!! Again, while I don’t necessarily think that reading this book and trying out the positions with 15 of your best friends in the room is really the way you should go (but if you want to, then by all means!) maybe reading the book and trying them out with your husband or significant other may very well make you start singing it’s praises as well!