Whew!! That was a busy weekend....

Well, we've done it. We have finally started working on our home. While the structure is very sound, our home has needed a lot of cosmetic work. So we started working on the boys' room since it's the coldest during the winter. When I say doing some cosmetic work, I mean, A LOT! We stripped the room down to the studs and started over.

Here we are before we started:

The boys were SUCH a big help. Lucas was so stinkin cute...he kept following Daddy around saying "I help, too!! I help!" Here they all are carrying out the end of their bunk bed.

Then onto the smashing. Zachary has been telling us for months that he wants to be a firefighter. I think he found a new calling!! I went to the grocery store to buy some bottled water (which was much needed working in the 87 degree house. Yucko!) and they had some $1 tools there. One of them being this really cool nifty hammer. I figured, what the heck, buy Zachary his own hammer and let him putz around with it right? Well, that would have been awesome but it was SUCH a cheap hammer that within 10 minutes one of the claws fell right off! Zachary hung his head in such sorrow. I felt HORRIBLE! So we were telling him that it's okay, we would buy him another one that was just for him, and when I tried to get him to look at me, he was SOBBING. Just SOBBING because his hammer had broke. He got over it and took his hammer to Grandma and Grandpa's with him, where the head of the hammer promptly fell off! Needless, to say when he came home, Mommy had bought him a new "Zachary-sized" hammer!

Lucas LOVED it too...When he came home on Monday, we had already hung 2 1/2 walls of drywall that he went RUNNING at full speed with a hammer. I felt like I was in slow motion running at him yelling "Nooooooooo...."At the end of our first night of full work, we had stripped the entire room down to the studs. I'm pretty happy with what we accomplished the first couple of days.

More than just getting the room accomplished, I feel like Chuck and I accomplished something else. We accomplished closeness, oneness, a togetherness that we gained from working on OUR home TOGETHER. I felt so complete working there beside him. There was no fights, no questions about why YOU did something wrong. We were a team. It made me feel so good to be working so hard alongside my husband. Chuck had said at one point..."shit Lis, we've been home for 2 whole days with no kids and only had sex once". True...but I felt that by working on our home and pouring our blood, sweat (and there was a lot of sweat), and tears (a little on my part) into this home that we were "together" more than we would have been in bed. It truly warms my heart to think about it and I hope I always look back on that weekend with such fond memories and knowledge that no matter what gets thrown at us, if we approach it as a team, together, we can accomplish anything.

Product Rave!!

For any of you reading with kids about Zachary's age, take note!

This is the BEST TOY EVER INVENTED!

First of all, Zachary LOVES playing it. So much so that the *threat* of game time lost will usually get him to act properly. So much so that he'll actually sit still and pretty quiet throughout a resturant dinner (not that we have many of those anymore!). I've been so concerned about him having ADHD and yet he shows a great aptitude to be able to sit still for the Leapster during game time.

Second, he is LEARNING. And learning WAY above his age level. Last week, I was shocked when he and Dory and Marlin were working on addition. And Zachary was doing very well. Well, last night at dinner he surprised us furthur when he started working on multiplication. Yes, that's right. My 4 year old was doing multiplication and got 4 of them right in a row. They use the numbers and pictures! Zachary actually got 6 x 4 = 24 correct!

I'm so proud! But I know that this game system is awesome! There aren't many games for preschoolers out there, but he seems happy doing the same 3 cartridges over and over. And so far, so good. He got it for his birthday and has been *pretty* good about keeping the games together with his game machine!

A big thanks to Jenn (http://mac3mom.blogspot.com/) for raving about them in her blog and giving me the idea to get it for Zachary! It's a HUGE hit!

Dear Zachary

As I look past on your last four years on this earth with your daddy and I, I can’t help but cry. Not from sadness necessarily, (well a little sadness) but also from joy! You’ve grown into our little man instead of being our “baby”. I’m so proud of the things that you have already learned and accomplished! Just within this last year you’ve done so much.

Your first day of pre-school. How proud you were of going to school and being able to be there without Mommy and Daddy. I looked around the room on that first day and saw so many other children clinging, sobbing on their mommy’s or daddy’s pant leg. Yet, off you ran. It made me a little sad. Things were changing. You didn’t need me anymore. But truth is, you did need me. You needed me to allow you to be independent and become your own person yet guide you and mold you into a good person. On the way home, I thought about it and realized that I’m sooo glad you didn’t cling to me. Because it meant that you were secure in the fact that we would be back to get you. Mommy ALWAYS comes back.

You also saw your first day of full-fledge daycare. That scared me. I didn’t want to have someone besides your daddy and me to have influence over you…and maybe, just maybe, to get to know you better than we did. It was a rough few weeks in the beginning considering that you don’t really like change. The other boys didn’t want to allow you into their groups because you were “new”. Yet, now just 6 months later you are friends with everybody. It warms my heart to no end to go and pick you up from preschool and hear everybody in the room say good-bye and at least 2 or 3 of your classmates come running over to give you hugs. It shows me that you are sociable, friendly, and well-adjusted.

We also spent our first summer as a family in our very own home. You loved playing in the kiddie swimming pool and I was definitely one COOL mom when I put the plastic slide in the swimming pool and made a water slide. You got to play on your swingset all year long and I remember you telling me “Thank you SOOO much momma for getting me my swingset. And thank you to Grandma and Grandpa and Daddy too!” I love hearing those words from you. Not because I need the gratification, but because you are growing up appreciating those things that you have and more importantly the people who love you soo much. Over the last year, you have really learned how to express your feelings of gratitude and sympathy and shown that you are a very caring and very sensitive little boy (most of the time! We all have our moments!)

While during the summer, I was the coolest mom ever, during the fall and winter I was “Not your best friend anymore!!!” I thought I would be crushed the first time I heard you say “I hate you” or “you’re not my best friend” and I wasn’t. Do you know why? Because you are not going to like me all the time…but I know that you will always love me, as I love you. We told you “that’s okay, because I don’t need to be your best friend. I do need to be your mom.” You also tried pulling the “well, you can’t come to my party then!” line with us too. That didn’t last long as we explained that unless we were there, there would be no one to pay for the party and therefore no party. You have learned the value of the dollar very quickly, little man!

You learn very quickly. On everything you do. I’m so proud of the fact that you can fully write your name. And yet, I go to school and hear reports that you can’t! Wait a minute, I think, WHY? So your daddy and I discussed the problems with you and come to find out, if you don’t know how to do it, they spend one on one time with you and you adore that. You’ve learned how to manipulate people better than a lot of adults I know! You’ve also tried pulling the “Lucas is setting a bad example” line with me. But as we know, that doesn’t fly! But over the year, you have continually showed your extreme intelligence and fast learning. I was AMAZED the first time I gave you a maze last summer and you looked at it for about 10 seconds and drew a line from the beginning to the end with no mistakes and no instruction. Zachary, you have really developed an aptitude for working out puzzles and problems and I know that that kind of abstract thinking will serve you soooo well in your life.

I know that things have not always been easy this last year. And I know that I have made mistakes. I will continue to make mistakes throughout your life. How do I know? Because I am growing with you. You teach me soo much every single day. Some days I think you teach more than I am teaching you. Having you and raising you has allowed me to grow and become a better mom and person. I love you, Zachary. More than words could ever tell.

Happy 4th Birthday!
I love you.

Happy Birthday Dad!!!

My dad and I have been through a lot together. A lot of heart ache, a lot of stubborn fights, but a lot of joy too.

He was there in the room with me right after I had my first son. Right by my side. He made it home from Oregon with my brother just in time....and knowing my dad drove through the night in order to be there for me.

My dad taught me to be a strong fighter for what I think is right. To stand up for my beliefs. He didn't much like it when I stood up to him though :)

He stood beside me and helped me with my boys when things were rough in my life last fall.

Dad taught me to check my tires and my oil and to drive a stick shift...so that I didn't need to be dependent on a man to do it for me.

And way back when, Dad stood over me and helped me learn to write cursive the year before we learned it in school...and helped me read chapter books. He encouraged that love of learning in me.

I still remember those things. I can never thank you enough for the things you DID do Dad.

I found this picture of me, wearing Dad's shoes. I think I was a bit of a Daddy's girl when I was this little...


I wanted this song as our "Father-Daughter" dance at our wedding. I ended up allowing Dad to make the song decision...but on my Dad's birthday, I'd like to send out this tribute.

I remember daddy's hands
folded silently in prayer.
And reachin' out to hold me,
when I had a nightmare.
You could read quite a story
in the callous' and lines.
Years of work and worry
had left their mark behind.

I remember daddy's hands
how they held my mama tight.
And patted my back
for something done right.
There are things that I'd forgotten
that I loved about the man.
But I'll always remember
the love in daddy's hands.

Daddy's hands were soft and kind
when I was cryin'.
Daddy's hands were hard as steel
when I'd done wrong.
Daddy's hands weren't always gentle
but I've come to understand.
There was always love in daddy's hands.

I remember daddy's hands
workin' 'til they bled.
Sacrificed unselfishly
just to keep us all fed.
If I could do things over,
I'd live my life again.
And never take for granted
the love in daddy's hands.
~ By Holly Dunn ~

Happy Birthday Lucas!

It's so hard for me to believe that my baby boy has gone from this:



to this:



Today my baby turns 2 years old. Some days it seems like it was just yesterday and some days I can't believe that he's ONLY 2 years old.

He's learned SOOO much within those two years!

*Crawling at about 5 1/2 months.
*Cruising by 6 1/2 months.
*Walking at 9 months.
*Climbing soon after :) My boys are definitely monkeys!
*Talking (maybe a little later than some kids)
*How to tattle on his brother, Zachary
*To blame things on brother, too!
*Learning EVERYTHING about this whole wide world we live in.

He's been talking up a storm for the last two months. Every day he says a new word (or ten!) His latest words are "SHARE!" and "Brother". Lucas, you amaze me every day with the words that you use and the way that you use them! Not many two year olds use pronouns in the correct manner...it astounds me daily to hear you refer to yourself not as "Lucas" but as "I".

There's just something about seeing things for the first time through a child's eyes and watching him learn and explore and do....it's just breathtaking.

So I wish you, my baby boy, continued awe at the world forever. Don't quit exploring. Don't quit learning. And don't ever forget who showed you the world for the first time.

Happy Birthday to Me!

Well, not many people know this but I turn 29 today!

Happy Happy Birthday to me!

I treated myself to a haircut and perm last weekend for a special birthday treat. It was nice....and I like it, mostly :)

And so we'll see how the rest of the day pans out! But for now, I'm still at work (1:39 am) and when I go home I'll go straight to bed and wake up at 11 am to get the boys and go about my day. I don't have the night off tomorrow (or today rather) so I'm sure it'll be kind of a ho-hum day...but I'm gonna try to make the most of it!

Obesity

On my mom's board this week, there was a "fight club" posting about Obesity and how America is becoming an obese nation. It really irritates me to have people just say "you know what? Don't eat so much" For some, it's just not that easy. When reading this, please be kind. This is information that no one in my life besides my husband really even knows. Maybe I need to get out there and advocate for obese people and let everyone know it's not because we are all lazy.

I'm morbidly obese.

Yep, I said.

I'm 165 lbs overweight. I have battled this my ENTIRE LIFE. Weight Watchers when I was 12, exercise, sports, L A Weight Loss when I was 23 and between all those every freaking diet you can think of, imaginable. Cabbage soup diet, did it. Jello diet? Did that one too...

For some people being overweight is a matter of bad choices and overeating. My husband for example. He eats A LOT at one meal a day. And drank a lot of pop (he's cut that out almost entirely and lost quite a bit of weight).

But being obese for some is also a psycological issue. Everyone has accepted that anorexia is a disease but not obesity. Obesity is really just the opposite of anorexia with a lot of the same psychological issues. Control over your own life? Sure...I can eat that control. Can't control my emotions? Even more food, because I can control that.

Is it my fault that I'm overweight? Yep. But not because I necessarily overeat. Well, at least not all the time. But when I've gone to dr's and TRY to get help...they tell me to stop eating so much...and to not put sugar in my coffee, eat sugar cereals, etc, etc, etc...all things that I don't do anyways. My kids eat incredibly healthy...and yet, I have a weight problem.

When I bring up any shrink visits I've been told that all I need is will power and to not eat so much.

Well...let's see. (insert the skeletens in the closet) I used to hide food. Sneak it out of the garbage if necessary in order to eat things I wasn't "supposed to have". Have a secret little stash in my room in order for my brothers and dad to not make oinking noises when I ate. Oh yea, and my grandma that pretty much told me that I was going to never have a husband, boyfriend, family because I was a fat cow. And on the day that I turn 29, you might ask "do you still do those things?" Yes, I DO!!!! My husband is supportive of me and would NEVER make oinking noises and yet, I still find myself in my kitchen sometimes shoving food in in order for him to not know what I'm eating. Or sitting in the car before coming inside so that I can eat my brownie in peace without having to share it with the boys. Do I do this every day? ABSOLUTELY NOT! But I do...and I can guarantee you that I'm not thinking rationally when I do it. And feel incredibly guilty afterwards. Those all sound like psychological issues to me.

I have considered gastric bypass...but the problem I have with that is they STILL DO NOT address the psychological issues. So why should I put myself in a very dangerous situation without attacking the reasons I got so big in the first place? I'm ECSTATIC that insurance covers this though...and I think that it should be covered for certain people.

I DO NOT blame McD's, fast food or anything else. I blame myself...and the medical profession for not treating obesity as a medical/psychological issue. I should also mention that I typically do eat healthy...in fact my triglycerides and blood sugar are perfect...my blood pressure is low...the dr's are amazed at how healthy I am for being so obese. We eat healthy in my house and I DO NOT make eating a real focal point in any way because I don't want my boys to go through what I've gone through my whole life. We do occassionally have baked french fries and chicken nuggets for lunch...but 85-90% of the time we have fresh home made meals including fresh/frozen vegetable (not canned), fresh fruit, whole grains and protein. Oh and no juice. Only milk and water and the occassional sugar free lemonade.

It's a daily battle for me. One that I've cried over many, many, many times because I leave dr offices feeling like a horrible person. Why can't I control this? Why can't I just have will power? I've come to realize though that it is a disease for me and that I do need help.

Easter

Easter was SO much fun this year!!! We went to my parent's and there was none of the stress that I usually feel when going to the in-laws. I always feel like I have to be RIGHT on top of the boys there to make sure that they don't break something, or drip something on the white carpet, etc, etc. So at mom and dad's there is none of those worries. And everyone watches out for the boys.

Saturday afternoon we color Easter eggs...how much fun that was! The boys were so into it...and it really went by way too fast for everyone! I could NOT for the life of me get a picture with BOTH boys in it with their eggs...this was as good as it gets!



Easter morning rolls around and Zachary wakes up asking "Is it Easter Egg day, today?" Yep!!!! So they go out into the hallway where the Easter bunny had laid a trail of eggs. Zachary and Lucas immediately started opening and eating!

We hid 48 eggs in our living room!!! I have no idea how we fit all that many in there but we did. The boys had them all found within an hour too...which surprises me a little because I had to keep prodding them to find more. They kept wanting to play with or eat what was inside. Lucas didn't end up with as much candy in his basket only because he ate almost all of it as he found it!

I made easter candy again this year. Only 4 lbs worth...and considering I made 8 baskets this year...that's pretty good! I love doing Easter candy and it's a tradition that I picked up from my mom and hope to carry on throughout my boys and their kids too. I just think it means so much more getting something homemade and from the heart.

Then onto church where I loved service and the boys played well in the nursery.

Then mom and dad's. Where there were 48 more eggs to be found in their backyard. (12 per kid) And Great Grandma was there as well as Great Aunts and uncles and my nephews and one brother. It was quite and affair but everything was great....and we ate more candy :)





Oh yea, and we spiked their hair with hair wax. The boys thought it was SOOOO cool...I'll have to do it again...but maybe next time I'll wait till their hair is summer cut and a little shorter :)

Sadness and Gladness

I love my boys. Truly and honestly I do. How can you not love this face?

But I keep hearing about all these babies being born (another friend just had another baby...her second. She know has a boy and a girl) and it makes me sad to think I'm not having another one. And that I'll never have a daughter. But at the same time, I'm so glad to be blessed with the two miracles that we have now and at the same time a little relieved that I don't have to deal with the infant stage and waking up every 2 hours anymore, etc, etc. We are just getting to a point where Zachary and Lucas are able to play together and be somewhat sufficient and get a few minutes of peace to ourselves. And I LOVE that!!! But at the same time, it makes me sad. I guess I'm thinking about it more because all my friends seem to be getting preggo and having babies and that my "baby" is about to turn 2 in exactly a week. Where the heck does time go?

Lucas got his head stuck in the fence at daycare last week. Apparently a ball went through the fence, he tried to go after it and he stuck his head through and then couldn't get it out. One of the daycare workers jumped the fence and they ended up pulling his body through in order to get him out *LOL* Ah, the joys of boys!!! They said that I'll have my hands full when he gets a little older....I told them, he's my "easy" child. Zachary was WAY worse than Lucas is as far as getting into (and most of the time, out of) getting in trouble. I don't know whether it's the fact that they are boys, or that they are MY boys, or what...some people say we probably don't discipline enough. But, sometimes I think we are too harsh (and my mom agrees with me). But, boy oh boy they can get into some stuff. I think it's just because they are explorers and puzzle solvers and I don't squash that and their independence. All that will serve them very well later in life...it just makes it very frustrating right now!

We've been spending a ton of time outside since it's been sooo beautiful and it's been so good for everyone! There is kids behind us now and Nathan and Alaina have been coming over almost every night (with their parent's permission of course) so the boys have playmates too. I went and got my hair chopped off and permed on Saturday and when I came home the boys weren't in the house. Chuck said they are out back.

So I went out back and didn't see them.

I called their names....no answer.

Panic sets in....

My neighbor tells me that she saw the boys go over the fence but Daddy knew about it first.

So I talk to Chuck again. Apparently the boys were invited to go on a walk with the back neighbors. I don't know why (as the mom is one of Lucas' daycare teachers) but I was so nervous. I couldn't relax. I didn't know when the would be back and what would happen IF something happened? I guess I should get used to that feeling as the boys get older and go off more and more with friends.

Spring has DEFINITELY arrived!

How do I know?

*I'm taking more pictures! Seems like all my pictures are during the spring, summer and fall.

*I'm outside almost all day long! Whenever I'm not sleeping, cooking (and even sometimes when I am cooking) or working I have been outside with the boys and loving it!
*I'm finding myself less and less on the pc and therefore spending less and less time blogging :(
*My depression has lifted! I'm once again the happy, go-lucky, bubbly person I used to be..well almost anyway!
*The sun is shining here in Michigan and today I went outside without shoes because it was 70 degrees! You can't beat that!
*The boys are waking up from their naps sweating from the warmth in the house!
*I got to go outside at lunchtime tonight at 9:30 pm with NO COAT ON and it was still warm!

Ah, I know I've been absent for a few days but like I said, I've not been inside much. I'm just so dang happy that it's warm and sunny and well, warm!

I've been taking pictures of the boys like crazy.

We went bike riding one Saturday and made it a whole three blocks before Chuck's chain broke on his bike! I took them to feed the ducks at a little park in a nearby town.

I'm just really enjoying being able to be at home with them during the day and spend some quality time with my boys instead of coming home, fixing dinner, giving them baths and putting them to bed. It just seems like now that I have this time with them, I wasn't getting ANY time with them before. And so far, so good. I'm getting enough sleep, having a little free Lisa time during naps, and all is good.

Lucas Michael is talking up a storm. He cracked me up today! Our next door neighbor has a little dog...I have no idea what kind it is but it can't weigh more than 5 lbs. Hairy little thing. Lucas said "CAT momma" and was pointing at the dog. I corrected him by saying "No sweetie, that's not a cat, that a dog." So we were packing into the car to go to daddy's work and switch shifts and when we drove by the neighbors house he said "BYE Cat-Dog!" Awww...too cute!

The only issues we are having right now is Zachary is growing (again!) and the stuttering has come back along with the bad attitude. I wonder why growth spurts make him stutter and be so dang cranky. And...Lucas Michael. He's biting. Twice in two days at daycare! They asked if we were having problems at home with him biting, NOPE! But he has been bitten 4 times in the last month so I'm wondering if he's not getting retaliation. I wouldn't put it past him. So, we had a little discussion about it today. Of course, being the fact he's almost two, I don't think it did any good :)

Until next time.....

Zachary-ism's

Ah, my oldest son has found the joys of worms. Yep, it's been raining her in Michigan quite a bit the last few days (maybe even weeks) and it's warming up which means that the worms are coming out from underground. I have no aversion to worms or creepy crawly things at all...I actually tried to get him intersted last year in them. But, coming home from daycare this morning there were a TON of worms everywhere. Zachary picked them up and tried to bring them in the van. Um, no. Those worms LIVE here at school...you don't want to take them from their mommies and daddies do you?

But upon arriving home, he ran outside and found more worms. And brought them into the house. I shooed him out with the promise that I would take pictures of him and his worms. That made him happy :) It won't be too much longer and I'll be finding worms, snakes, and frogs in his pockets I'm sure!

He's been a riot lately. Almost every day has happened that made me laugh out loud at his words, antics or behavior.

He's been definitely picking up on things that we or his friends at school say. Such as:
*First things first.
*You're not coming to my party because you're not fair!
*You're not my best friend anymore! or the variation: If you do that, you'll be my best friend!

I was working with Lucas the other day to get him to say Thanks after he got something he asked for. I kept saying "Lucas, can you say THANKS?" All to absolutely no avail! Zachary was sitting there and asked "Lucas, can you say Refrigerator?" Chuck and I about died laughing and Lucas did too...although he had no idea why. I explained to Zachary that if I couldn't get him to say a simple word, maybe refrigerator was too much.

He also decided last week to clip his own fingernails. Zachary HATES having me cut them for him..he is a big boy, afterall. Well, needless to say, he clipped a little too short. I was on the phone with an old friend and Zachary said he needed a bandaid (he always needs a bandaid!) So he went into the bathroom and was in the cupboard rummaging around and yelled to me that he needed a smaller bandaid. I was a little confused but he forgot about the bandaid and so did I. Until....I went into the bathroom to go potty and found 5 pantyliners with the backs off lying around...guess he did need a smaller bandaid!

The next day, he decided to cook his own breakfast while I was still sleeping. He had to stay home from daycare since he had thrown up the night before. He had come into my room and asked for a fork for his pie. I thought he meant cake from the night before. So a little while later, I go into the living room and he knew exactly what he had meant. Zachary had gotten two chicken pot pies from the freezer, put them on a paper plate, microwaved them and was eating them and watching Monsters, Inc. when I came in. Well, at least I know my oldest will be very self-sufficient.

He's been a joy lately. I'm glad he's almost 4 and maybe we are past the torrentous threes!

Seven Deadly Sins

So I posted a while ago that I was having anger attacks. I would link to that post but honestly I don't know how!

The sermon last weekend at church was regarding Anger. And how it is one of the seven deadly sins. The sermon was awesome. And 100% totally. hit. home. To the hubby too.

Father Jim used 3 balloons to illustrate his point. One balloon represented taking your anger and giving into it and blowing up. Loudly. Boisterously. Making it known to EVERYONE that you are not happy.

The second balloon represented taking your anger and internalizing it. Keeping it all in. That balloon of anger NEVER goes away. It's always there. Building up and causing resentment.

The third balloon represented forgiveness. And the best way to deal with anger. How the best way to dissolve your anger is to forgive. Forgive the person you think you are angry at, and forgive the situation that created the anger inside of you. But also to forgive yourself.

Here's to more forgiving.

Survey

My mom tagged me in an email to do this little survey and I thought I would post it and let everyone know a little more about me.

Four jobs I have had in my life:
1. Veterinary Assistant
2. Front Desk Manager for Chiropractic office
3. YMCA Ranch counselor
4. LA Weight Loss counselor/manager

Four movies I would watch over and over:
1. Pretty Woman
2. Dirty Dancing
3. Cocktail
4. 8 Seconds

Four places I have lived:
1. Swartz Creek, MI
2. East Lansing, MI
3. Fenton, MI
4. Grand Ledge, MI

Four TV shows I love to watch:
1. CSI: Las Vegas
2. Without a Trace
3. King of Queens
4. Law and Order: SVU

Four places I have been on vacation:
1. London, England
2 Toronto, Ontario
3. Bruce Peninsula/Niagara Falls
4. Florida

Four web sites I visit daily
1. morethanmoms.net/mtm (my mom's board for Michigan...I LOVE IT!)
2. hotmail
3. Yahoo Lansing Moms
4. Any of a number of blogs

Four of my favorite foods:
1. Mexican
2. Cookies (this should be a food group!)
3. Anything lemon
4. Big, juicy, sweet purple grapes

Four places I would rather be right now:
1. Home with my boys (instead of working)
2. Ireland
3. In bed (it's 10:20 pm...it's an hour past my bedtime already! *L*)
4. Muskegon visiting our friends having their first baby!

Four favorite things to do:
1. hang out with all my boys and family
2. Scrapbook
3. Read
4. Sleep (among other bedroom activities ;))

And to all of you who read my blog (and I know there's not many!): you've been tagged!

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." Dr. Seuss

Quirks

Mine, not the boys'!

I don't know why I've been thinking about this lately but I figured I would blog about it and get it off my mind! I've never considered myself and incredibly quirky person, but the last month or so I keep noticing things that I do that make me wonder "why?". And do I want my kids doing stuff like this? At least it's nothing too terribly weird. At least I don't think so!

* When I get up to shut off the alarm in the morning, I have to lay back down facing the opposite direction from what I was laying when I got up. I actually think about it and make a conscience decision to lay the opposite way.

* I use the 1st, 3rd or 5th bathrooms at work. If one of them are out of order for some reason, I can use the 2nd or 4th one, but it just feels weird!

* Going to sleep, I have to have the blanket between my feet and rub my feet together.

* When Chuck and I actually used to sleep together...my butt always had to touch a piece of his body in order to sleep. It's not so much a big deal now because I'm used to falling asleep without him, but I know when I go back to night and he's in bed first, I'll do it again.

* I eat my food in layers if it's layered. I.E. Twix candy bars. They have to be eaten caramel first, then the cookie bottom. Snickers? Same way. The peanut butter and chocolate Little Debbies? Those are eaten layer for layer until they are gone.

* When I'm very tired or very upset, I still suck my finger. I know, I know...I'm almost 29. But it's a comfort thing. That's why I never pushed Zachary very hard about quitting the binky...I think if you push it it becomes even more of a comfort for the kiddo.

* One that is of particular annoyance to my hubby: When drinking from a 2 liter (yes, I actually drink from a 2 liter on occassion) I press in the sides of the bottle and put the cap back on without pressing them back out. So it's dented in when he goes to get a drink...it drives him nuts. I never knew I did that...but now I make an effort to pop the bottle back out (unless I'm irritated with him! *L*)

Those are the ones that I can think of right now. I'm sure my hubby could list tons more!

Mother/Son dance 2006

Zachary and I went to a Mother/Son dance through our local parks and rec. last Thursday night. We had such an amazing time! First, it was wonderful being able to spend some one-on-one time with Zachary and be able to focus on him alone. I know he's been needing someof that! Second, it was totally his night! We got dressed up and went to the really nice hotel where they were having it. When we walked in the main doors, there is a huge water feature and two glass elevators. Zachary just stopped dead in his tracks and his eyes were as big as saucers. He said "Momma, can we ride those???" So,off we went to check in and get our complimentary picture taken and then back to ride the elevators. We ended up running into another mom/son combo that we go to church with and Zachary and Johnny are friends so we rode the elevator about 10 times with them! The boys thought it was so great being able to go all the way up and still see the water down below.

Zachary and I danced to a couple of slow songs but mostly fast stuff and he was definitely busting a move!!! It was so cute watching him. He got to eat FOUR cookies...which is a very rare treat for him and seemingly one of the highlights of his night.

They played the locomotion at one point during the night and all the boys (and a few moms) got together and pull off a train that circled almost the whole banquet room. I stood there and watched him do this and seriously almost started crying. I can't believe how big my little boy has gotten...and it felt like just a small step till I see him doing that at his wedding in full tux with his new bride all in white. *sigh* They do grow up so fast so I'm so glad that he can look back on his mother/son dance (I plan to make this a yearly event) and have good memories of time with his mom.

Ah, back to the blog

Well, I'm moving to nights. There's lots and lots of reasons why. Financial, family and career oriented reasons. Our goal is to both be on days within the next year. That way when Zachary is ready to go into kindergarden we are able to be at home with him in the evenings.
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Zachary is becoming more and more outspoken and mouthy. My mom laughs at me because some of the things he's saying are EXACTLY what I said to her. But like I tried to explain I was saying them at 11, not 3 1/2!!!!

I swatted his hand the other day for grabbing something he wasn't supposed to be getting. His response was "That didn't hurt!" I remember saying that to my mom. Several times. I guess you reap what you sew!

Last night I asked him to do something and he ignored me and stuck his tongue out at me. He hasn't done that ever. So I told him that he would not be getting his after school treat. Then he tried to back peddle what happened. Him: "But I had a bug in my mouth." Me: "Zachary, there was no bug in your mouth. I do not like liers." Him: "Well, there was a bug outside and I was sticking my tongue out at him and blah, blah, blah." Yes, my 3 year old son actually said blah, blah, blah. I really had to watch myself to keep from laughing about that because honestly I say that all the time. But this lying thing is getting worse. I guess some people would say that he has a very good imagination. However, I do not want that imagination to get out of hand.
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And wow....the blaming is starting already. Lucas can't even say Zachary yet but he definitely gets his point across that it was his brother and not him that did something. It usually goes something like this:

*CRASH!*

Zachary: Lucas did it!

Lucas: Runs to me, grunting and pointing in Zachary's direction. Usually crying.

In these instances, they usually both get in trouble because typically one of them did something to the other and the other retaliated. Both do something they know they aren't supposed to do. I hope that when they get older they get smarter about this like my brothers and I and cover each others back and then hold it against the other one as blackmail for future use! *LOL*
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Have you ever looked at your kids and the traits that they are exhibiting and wonder what they are going to be like when they are pre-teens, teens, and young adults? I've thought about this...and we see it whenever the boys are playing and playing with the things that they choose to play with.

Zachary is our artist. He loves to paint and create. Do crafts with me. He's still an incredibly active and agile boy and loves to get dirty, but is usually creating something in the dirt or sand or on the concrete. He's so sensitive and empathic. I see him being very much like my younger brother and I. We were always the people that everyone went to with problems. Because we were empathic and tried our hardest to help everyone. Like this morning, I was coughing. Nothing big. Zachary was very concerned and asked "are you okay mommy? Are you sure?"

Lucas is our jock. He's active and agile and all out daredevil. He loves to throw balls, hit balls, kick balls, and try to make baskets. Anything that has to do with sports he loves. He hates to sit and try to color or draw or create things. That's boring for him....give him a ball and he'll play for hours.

Now obviously we are going to encourage the boys to try everything. Get to know exactly what you like. We do not plan on ever telling them no you can't do that...because that's not your "thing" but it's interesting to see how brothers can be so different.

The Good Ole Days

For some reason, I was incredibly nostalgic yesterday. To the point of sadness really. I don't know what caused this sudden burst of nostalgia. It could have been going through my college alma mater town last night. It could have been the fact I just had a really bad day and was wishing for simpler times when I had no bills to pay, no worries in the world except which bar I was going to for the weekend and if my friends were mad at me. It could have been seeing pictures of my friend's daughter's dance costume. What was I thinking about?

I was remembering the times I was in dance class until I was 13. And how on every Monday in the 10 minutes between classes, me and Sarah and a couple of other girls would run downstairs to Luea's Pharmacy and get a treat. Sometimes it was a 10 cent sucker, sometimes a candybar or a pop. But you could always hear one of the other classes going on upstairs. The tap-tap-tapping of the tapshoes. I miss dancing.

I was remembering college. How carefree it was. How my friends and I all lived within steps of each other since we all lived within four rooms of each other in the dorm. I remember the first time Chuck told me he loved me and how I ran across the hall in tears (he told me on the phone) to Heather's room where everyone was watching ER and said "He said IT!" and all my friend's where so happy for me.

I was remembering what it was like to just have one child. We (meaning Zachary, Lucas and I) went to a birthday party last night for a 2 year old at Ceasarland. Holy Moly! Trying to chase both of them by myself was insane! And there were all the mom's talking about being tired chasing one! Ah, they'll learn what it's like to be going in two different directions at all times. Plus, Lucas was being so incredibly whiny last night. I think he's hitting into his terrible two's. Yipee. (insert deep sarcasm)

Ah, the simpler times. And yet, I love my life as it is now. Just wish it were simpler sometimes!

I was reprimanded yesterday for internet usage at work. But just not the fact I have been checking my blogs. Apparantly, they are saying that I have viewed sexual material. I can honestly say I have NEVER viewed sexual material at work. I was kind of offended by the suggestion. But no one wants to find out what sites I viewed because that could get other dept's and areas involved. So now I feel like I've been dubbed a pervert by everyone. It just irritates me that I've been singled out when two of my co-workers spend just as much if not more time on the internet as I do. And considering I don't take my breaks or lunch, I feel that I'm justified for taking some time out during my day to take a mental break. But not now ;(

Chuck was offered a job last night. After receiving notice that he didn't get the other day job, they've found a different one for him on days and are offering it to him without even posting it. Chuck is incredibly upset for the way they are "manipulating" us. And of course, his sense of fairness comes out because he's being offered the position around the typical UAW rules and regulations of offering jobs. The State can do this when they want to. But have the need to move, and oops, sorry can't do anything. But why would they just offer him a position? Because they want me on nights and they have to move him off of nights in order for me to be the lead worker. Chuck and I discussed this a little bit last night. Wondering what exactly to do. And as much as I hate us being on opposite shifts and having them move us around like they are trying to do, the extra $300-$400 a month would be so handy right now. I'm so behind in bills and it is frustrating and stressful. I think there are other jobs opening up that are promotions for me soon, so I may just take the lead worker and then in 6-8 months move to a higher level position with more money again. At least it will get me out of downtown where everyone thinks I'm a pervert. I just never have felt like I really fit in over there. Ah, the decisions that have to be made! This would be a big shift for the boys. They will love seeing their daddy every night...I'm a *little* worried at how he's going to do for the 2 or 3 hours that he has them alone but the meds have been helping wonders and so hopefully things will be okay. Plus, he'll be getting his sleep still and that's a big contributor to his mood. It also means pulling the boys out of their current daycare and finding another daycare that charges for half days. Our current daycare is pay full price no matter what. I really like Zachary being in preschool...but not enough to be paying $400 a month for it. I just hope if we do make the switches it's not too difficult on the boys.

Random Blather

Well, Chuck got the letter yesterday that he did not get the job on days. So that also means I didn't get the promotion onto nights. Ah, well, I know that there is a master plan that I may not be aware of so that must mean that something better is out there waiting for both of us. We'll see. But he did stay home from work last night and it was SOO wonderful having him around in the evening and helping with the boys and doing the dishes when I gave the boys their bath. *sigh* Someday we'll be a family during the week. Somedays I really wish I didn't have to work. That I could stay home with the boys and do crafts and take naps with them, and clean the house for my husband. Then they act like crazy monkeys (like they did last night) and I'm kinda glad that I get to escape for a little while and go to work. But I can't always dodge the guilt. And it's been almost 4 years since I had Zachary and started working again. I guess that mommy guilt never completely goes away.

I caved. I know. I'm horrible. Ash Wednesday I stated I was giving up pop and sweets. And I thought it was ambitious. And it was. I couldn't handle it anymore. So I decided I will give up the pop and work on healthier eating but not necessarily cutting out all sweets. Just eating them when I feel the need to eat them and not eat them at any other time. I feel like if I deny myself certain things I end up craving them beyond all belief. So I figured that if I decided to just eat healthy, then sometimes I can have a cupcake after dinner if I haven't indulged the rest of the day. So we'll see how that goes. As of last weekend, I had lost 2 lbs. So something must be working!

Ash Wednesday

Well, today starts Lent for us Catholics. During Lent, we give up the things that we enjoy the most in order to sacrifice ourselves in the way Jesus sacrificed for us. So I gave up sweets and pop. Ambitious? Definitely. I figured maybe I would try losing some weight during this time as well by eating better. So I packed a pretty healthy lunch and had a small breakfast, am drinking my water, and have had no pop. And I. am. starving! I can eat nothing all day long any other day but the minute I say I'm going to eat healthier, less, or cut something out I have a raging appetite. Some may say I don't really want to lose weight. But I do! I think my mind is all screwed up when it comes to eating. But is that the only thing that is making my tummy grumble and my head hurt? Oh yea, I just absolutely love the no caffeine, no sugar migraines. On top of the period migraines. Just lovely. But I'm not giving up this time. I'm not giving into the freaking headache. I noticed my figure in the window at 3:30 am this morning and disgusted myself. I thought to myself "How can that man, sitting there eating his dinner, find me even remotely attractive?" But he still does. But I bet he'd find me WAY more attractive about 100 lbs lighter!!! So, I'm gonna be more irritable while my body adjusts to these things I'm doing to it. I hate being such a downer! So here's to many more days (46 to be exact) of no sweets, no pop and healthy eating. Hopefully after that 46 days I'll be a lot lighter and be able to keep this up!

The last 10 days????

So where have I been? I've been here. Plugging away at work. Trying desperately to keep my head above water at work and at home. I had my nights interview and Chuck had his days interview. Both went okay...not great but okay. We should hear this week. I've took a break from blogging because I was soooo upset over what happened last weekend and I didn't want that fight with my SIL to consume all my posts. So now I'm over it, and feel like I have more in my life that fighting and dealing with her.

Zachary is suprising me daily with the things that he's learning at preschool. My mom and dad watched him last weekend and Zachary spelled out MOM on his grandma's shirt and said "That spells MOM!" He spent a good portion of last night spelling out the words in the book with me and asking what the letters where if he didn't know and trying to figure out the words. I'm so proud of him! I'm still not very happy with his daycare, however, he's such a routine child I'm afraid of yanking him out right now since our job situation is a little up in the air. It's a very hard adjustment period for him...so while the current "school" isn't making him take naps, they aren't harming him in any way either so we'll just let it ride for a couple of weeks. They are doing a great job getting him to know his letters, numbers and he can count backwards now too!!! That's a new skill! Oh, and on February 25 he learned to SNAP! He's so proud of himself :) Daddy has showed him a couple of times but this weekend it just clicked (pun intended!)

Lucas is saying more words and he says "dede" for Daddy, occassionally which is making daddy happy but still usually calls him Momma! He's turning into such a little man. Chuck went to the store today and got some fruits, veggies and milk. We still buy Vitamin D and Skim milk...one for Lucas and the other for Zachary. Chuck must be very emotional today because he was reminding me that in just a couple of months Lucas will be able to go to skim milk too. He then goes on to tell me that it will be a sad and momentous occassion because while we'll only have to buy one milk, it also means that there are no more babies in the house. I can't believe how grown up my little baby is getting. I went and got his hair cut and they shaved it off! I almost cried. Now, this is no where near his first hair cut, but I've always cut it in a little boy cut. Now it's super short. His soft baby hair is gone!!!! But he does look absolutely adorable with the cut and looks like such a man. I guess it's getting to Chuck too.

I started on an anti-depressant. And I'm pms'ing. Not a good combination. I'm exhausted. But I'm hoping that it will help. Along with taking the anti-anxiety meds when I NEED them. And I can tell when I need them! I can't wait till Spring...I'm so sick of the winter blahs. I want the kids to be able to play outside for more than 5 minutes. I want to see sunshine when I get out of work at night. I want to be able to talk a walk outside during my lunch hours. I want to sit on my deck and watch the birds wake up. *sigh* Only a couple more months.