2007-07-13

Elizabeth turns 2 months old.

Already I'm wondering where the heck the time went. She looks so big to me already. And soooo much like Lucas. I'm in love, that's one thing I know for sure.

I hate to say it, because I know that it's going to make me sound like a bad mom. Like I'm favoring one child over another. But there is something very different with Elizabeth, my last child, my daughter. I can't put my finger on it though.

I tried talking to Chuck about it, but he told me that guys just don't think that way. I wonder if it's because I *know* for certain that this is my last child. I wonder if it's because this is the first time that I haven't suffered from PPD. I wonder if it's because she's my *daughter* and there's already a special mom/daughter bond. I wonder if its because I have exclusively breastfed from day one. I wonder if it isn't the dynamic of our family now; seeing my boys as big brothers. Maybe it's a combination of all those things. It doesn't make me love her anymore than my boys. It's just I've enjoyed her more. I've enjoyed this infancy stage infinitely more. I've enjoyed breastfeeding, not more, just enjoyed it!

Like I said earlier, it's just hard to put my finger on. So maybe I'll quit trying. Maybe instead of trying to figure out my motivations, I'll just enjoy Elizabeth. And her brothers. And her daddy.

My family.

3 comments:

noname said...

Oh my goodness! She's so adorably cute!!! My daughter was like that, too. I've always thought it was because I was a little older when I had her. I was 21 when I had Wonderboy and 27 when I had her. I felt more ready and prepared also, having had 2 before her. I was a lot calmer, too. Good thing as she was one sick baby!!!

Hannah said...

Oh, she is just sooooooo beautiful! And I can't believe she is 2 months old already!

I really do think all those things you mentioned could explain your feelings - especially not having PPD. I had it with both my boys and I'm POSITIVE that if I hadn't had it with one of them, I would have felt a really different bond. And of course having a daughter must feel very different and extra special for you since it has always just been you and the 3 guys (like at my place!) ... anyway, whatever the reason, the close bond you have with her is special so treasure it!

Angella said...

Two months already??? Wow!!

I hear you on your feelings, but I don't know why either. Matthew feels the same way about it. I love all my kids equally...but differently :)

 

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