Working mom=suckage

Being a working mom is tough. Not only do you have to balance your time between work and home, you have to balance your time between work, home, soccer matches, t-ball games, banquets, end of the year programs, among a multitude of other extracurricular activities that your kids are in. Now multiply that by 3 (Okay, well 2 for now. Elizabeth isn’t really old enough for extracurricular activities yet, but give her a couple of years).

Working days, you have the evenings “free” (as if as a parent you never have anything to do in the evenings, certainly not mundane things like cooking dinner, mowing the lawn, doing dishes, washing laundry….Nope, those things don’t need doing.) to do those extracurricular activities as most of the time the games or matches are scheduled in the early evenings. Yes, there are field trips and class parties but those are once every few months, or at least in our schools they are.

Not like t-ball and soccer which was 2-3 nights a week for the last 2 weeks and now twice a week through June. Yikes!

When I worked days, I thought “Man! Everything is scheduled for those people that don’t work days.” That was back in the day when a playdate from stay-at-home moms was the highlight of the activity schedule…or maybe a mommy and me class.

Now that I work nights (again) and my kids are older, I feel that I’m missing out on a lot. All their sports and classes and such are at night, well, because most people work days. Nights makes sense.

And now..*sigh*…now, the kids KNOW things. When they were younger, it wasn’t a huge issue if we didn’t hit that weekly playdate. They didn’t know the days of the week, or how to count, or able to really keep track of when things were. Now, they do. And they remind me of these things.

Like tonight.

Zachary told me that tonight was his first “non-practice” for t-ball.

“Non-practice”=1st game.

He then informs me “Momma, I’d really like it if you were there to watch me at my first non-practice.”

Ugh. Rip my heart out, kid, and stomp on it. That might make me feel a bit better. I’ve tried to explain that Momma can’t make it to every game but that’s something they don’t exactly understand yet. And really, neither do I. I should be there for everything. My mom was for me, afterall, right?!?!

STOP. Your mother, Lisa, was a stay at home mom. She didn’t have to try to balance home with personal time at work.

My boss is really understanding of me leaving for an hour or two every night, but I have to use up my personal time. Which is also the time that I have to use for vacation. And long camping weekends. And Christmas off with the family. And I’m not even talking about a day for actual “personal” use! Yea, right, does that even exist for moms?

Well, I did go tonight. And loved it! The boys did a great job, Lucas has quite a throwing arm and Zachary can really catch a piece of that ball! And the looks on their faces when they saw me there was….priceless.

I just feel saddened by the fact that I might miss out on one of my son’s first home runs, or first goal with a goalie, or any multitude of huge things that I could miss out on by not being there.

And the hurt feelings they’ll have knowing that their mom never saw it.

ETA: Don't get me wrong. I feel very lucky to be able to stay home with my kids during the day and be able to not have them in daycare at all. It means that they are always home with a parent, and I like that a lot, but there are days when I wish I didn't have to work at all. Today is one of those days.


Hannah said...

I don't work nights, so I don't know exactly how you are feeling. BUT ... I am a full-time working mum so I DO understand how tough it can be to juggle everything.
Here in NZ, a lot of sports and activities are in the evenings, or else on Saturdays. I moan about Ethan's soccer games being at 8.20 Saturday mornings, but I bet you would kill to have Zachary's games then.
It would be nice to be a SAHM who didn't have to work. But sadly, that's not possible for many families these days. It's definitely not for ours! I think our kids will get used to it, and when they are grown-up, there probably won't be ANY moms who don't work (if prices of everything keep rising). So they will just learn to appreciate that you are there when you can be, and that sometimes it will be Daddy who takes them to the game/practice.

Diana said...

I understand completely. I missed several of Nessa's basketball games because of work. It always sucks. I wish I could say it would get better, but it doesnt. Just make sure Chuck has a video camera when you can't be there. It's the best you can do until the lottery falls in your bank account! {HUG}

grandma b said...

kudos for all of you working moms! I was a stay at home....some day you can get back on days & not miss all of the fun!


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