2007-04-11

Counseling

Okay, soooo not what I expected out of today. I was REALLY hoping for the counselor to say "oooooh, you're having anger problems. Here this is what you do now go on your way."

Now, I'm not saying that I expected that, but a girl can hope right? But instead I got stuck with a bit of a moron who was asking all kinds of questions about my family, my past, alchohol and drug use (there isn't any...I'm so boring), and marriage/homelife questions.

He got to one part that seriously cracked me up. He was asking all these questions about my past, how my relationship was/is with my family, etc, etc, etc. Then onto my marriage. I answer truthfully and he says "Now, I have to ask a personal question."

Um, hello? Like the rest of the questions weren't personal? Or maybe I just told him way more information than he needed.

However, the question was : Do you have a healthy sex life?

I said "yes" immediately.

Then thought about it for a minute and asked what exactly he defined as "healthy". He said "well, what do you mean?"

I explained, after some deep thought at how to approach it delicately, that our sex life is a little untraditional. He seemed VERY taken aback and made a couple of remarks that sounded a little judgemental to me. I explained that if he was asking if our sex life was consistent, then yes. We don't have any problems in that area. He seemed satisfied with that answer :)

But needless to say, I didn't resolve anything today except to make 2 appts for next week. *sigh* Between my weekly midwife appts, Zachary's psychologist appts, and now the counseling appts I'm going to be zapped for time. Just when I feel like I need time more than ever.

That was another question that kinda threw me for a loop. What do I do for a social life. I answered honestly "What social life?" He threw out options...do you go out with work friends? Friends from school? Anything?

I know this is part of my problem. I don't feel I have time to do those things. I went out March 31 for the first time with the girls in months and had a GREAT time. But I don't do it often. As for going out after work...have you ever tried to go out with friends at 1 am? In a small town? And then try to get up at 7:30-8:00 am with 2 young and active boys? Yea, not that easy.

Weekends for me are family time. I guess that comes into play because we don't have ANY family time during the week, so I feel we have to make up for it on the weekends. But also, my college and high school friends and I are kinda on different paths in our lives. And my mom friends, who are my support most days, are usually via online and they have children, families, husbands and really busy lives of their own on the weekend. There are Mom Night Outs planned during the week....while I'm working. So that doesn't help much. Add into the fact that IF we have a sitter and can afford some recreation, I'd really prefer the company of my husband over most women. I guess that's a good thing though. I feel like we don't get to see each other enough as it is, so why wouldn't I want to spend any extra time we can find with him? But it does make for one boring and burned out Lisa. But I just don't know how to fit that "me" time in.

So maybe the therapist will offer her services as a sitter for free, and give us money to go out with a bunch of friends and go hiking for the afternoon, then on to painting pottery before hitting a really nice resturant for dinner and then onto the movies.

But I won't hold my breath for that.

2 comments:

Christi said...

Wow, Lisa, that is one full-on post lol. Is there anyway you can take up a new hobby? I know you work a crazy work schedule but can you fit in the odd hour here and there???? Or maybe one night a month with girls for dinner? Doesn't have to be out, can be at someone's house. It doesn't have to be late either. Like from 7-10 or something lol. I know this always refreshes my spirit and I feel I have connected with some other women. My favorite thing is to have a group of women sitting around and gasbagging lol.

Hannah said...

That is a heavy post, Lisa! But I just wanted to say I DO agree with you about prefering to spend time with my hubby than with most of my girlfriends. Because he is my BEST FRIEND and we love to spend time together. Why get married if you then spend all your time apart? And because you & Chuck work opposite shifts, I completely understand your desire to spend time with him rather than head out on the town. So don't think you're "strange" for feeling that way! I for one think that online friendships are great, and you don't have to see your friends every single day in order to have really close relationships. Some of my best friends are people I don't see often because they live on the other side of the world, or they are busy working mums like me and "spare time" is rare!

Having said that, I do enjoy time with my friends and make the effort to catch up with as many of them as I can on a regular basis, especially the ones I don't see all the time. But it IS hard, I know because I'm a full time working mum like you and I have lots of other things going on in my life that have to all fit. Not always easy!

I guess the main thing is for you to ask yourself: do YOU feel like something is missing from your life? If not, then don't worry about what the counsellor said! He doesn't know you, and his suggestions are just that: suggestions.

 

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