I love my husband.

I know, I know, I've done these posts. I've written them on Valentine's Day and our anniversary but this one is just because.

Just because I think he's wonderful.

Why? Because he's freakishly smart and resourceful. Just when I'm ready to discount something, he's there ready to take charge and make it work.

I'm talking about our current van. I love the van, I really do. It sits up high off the ground and has ran like a champ despite the fact it's 14 years old. Looks pretty good too (if you can overlook the slightly crunche in driver side corner that I did last fall).

But our van had problems this winter. First, I thought it was just an oil change, then the feul filter, then we took it to the mechanic for stalling problems and he said it was the air filter (nope), and the ignition module. Fixed for less than expected. Sweet!

Then it quit. Dead. So we have it towed and the tell us $370. I wanted to cry. I was so tired of getting up at 6:30 am to take Chuck to work so I could have a vehicle. Chuck told the guy to shove it. So over the next few days, he and I researched the possible problems and then Chuck went to the auto store and bought the parts, read how to change them and did it! For a grand total of $38!!! How freaking great is that?

Sometimes I underestimate him. Well, maybe a lot. But he has proven himself yet again to be able to do the undoable.

I think one of the things that endears me to him even furthur is how he took Zachary along for the ride. Chuck is so amazing with the boys, and takes them under his wing. Zachary went to the store and then "helped" Daddy fix the van. Zachary was soo proud of himself and Chuck that day helped boost Zachary's self-esteem like you couldn't do just by saying "good job". For that too, I love him.

Ever wondered who else has your name?

Chuck was telling me that he googled his name one day and found some interesting stuff. One of the things he found was a website devoted to past politicians and in their database was not only his grandfather, but his great-grandfather as well.

That got me thinking....who out there has my name? What have they done? What have I done that I don't know is posted yet? Nothing came up for my married name...except some lawsuit in California. No big story. However, when I googled my maiden name, an interesting book by Lisa Burnham was top on the list.

How freaking cool is that? If only it were me. That would be way cooler.

So google your name. Anything interesting come up?

Quick thing that made me laugh today...

Lucas had let in Jake (oh, he's our dog) from outside in the backyard. When I went into the kitchen the back door was still open. I asked Lucas to shut it stating:

"What were you raised in a barn?"

(side note: OMG, Can I sound anymore like my father if I tried?)

Lucas response to me was:

"We don't have a barn! We have a garage! Silly goof!"

One more reason I love being a mom sometimes.

I've been thinking....

And that is never ever good :)

But this time, it just may be.

Zachary and I had a rough day today. Until something happened that made me sit back and think "Damn, I love this kid" I decided that once a week or so I should blog about those moments. Those moments when I remember WHY I love being a mom so much. By doing so, maybe it'll help me focus on the more positive things in motherhood instead of the less positive (such as less sleep and fighting with a boy who won't nap because it's too daylight out).

I bought some cinnamon rolls today. Luke and I went to Walmart and I was craving some of their cinnamon rolls. So gooey and yummy when microwaved for a few seconds.

I digress (but I want another one now)....Luke ate one when we got home and after we got Zachary from preschool they both ate one. Leaving one for me. Cool.

But there wasn't one in the container. I question the lads. Where did the other one go? Zachary says that Lucas ate it. He took the last one. I was crushed. That also means that Luke would have eaten 3 HUGE cinnamon rolls by himself...also not good. I wasn't too happy but what can you do? They are gone.

Until I walked past the piano and saw a yummy, gooey cinnamon roll sitting on the piano, forgotten by one of the boys. Yay! My savior of sanity!

I put it in the microwave to warm it up, at that same time, Zachary walked into the kitchen and offered me up the other half of his. Looked up at me with those big blue eyes and said:

"here momma, I'll share with you. Because I love you. Did you know that?"

Yep, Zachary I know. And I love you too. More than words can ever say.

Okay, I cannot be the only one to find this funny!

Okay, apparently there is a huge phenomenon that I am just now catching up with. No big surprise as I'm usually way behind on trends, but also I've been super sick. But there is a satirical video called Box in a Box that is cracking me up. Chuck didn't find it nearly as funny as I did. But apparently others did. Because it made #1 on MSNBC's list about a week ago.

So, I guess I'm not all alone in this funny world after all.

My sensitive child

Zachary worries me sometimes.

He really does. And I don't know whether it's because he's "unique" (as yet undiagnosed for anything) or whether it's because he's just a very sensitive child, but he worries me nonetheless.

For Christmas, my boys got the book Charlottes Web from their Grandma and Grandpa. It was one of my favorite books as a little girl. I had a copy of it that I would read over and over and over. I grew up on a pseudo farm and was so much happier to be with the animals who loved unconditionally than people sometimes, so I really felt I related to Fern. (side note: My mom wrote in the front of the book : Merry Christmas Zachary and Lucas. I hope you enjoy this book as much as your mom did as a little girl.)

So, soon after Christmas we started reading the book to them. I started it since I was on vacation, and I loved the book, and then when I went back to work, Chuck took over reading a chapter a night before bed. And sometimes they got the book at naptime too, if they were good in settling down. As I said, I know this book. I knew Charlotte died. (sorry for anyone who's never read it, I just ruined the near-ending!) But I didn't think about it being an issue for my boys.

My boys watch movies that most children don't. They've seen all the Harry Potters. They've watched Lord of the Rings with us. They know about death.

So I was completely unprepared last night when Chuck informed me that Zachary was having a difficult time with going to bed BECAUSE Charlotte died. That he was sooo distraught by this. Charlotte died in the story on Tuesday night. Wednesday I *thought* that Zachary was being unusually needy. Unusually sentimental and loving. (He has always been a very loving child and tells me numerous times "I love you, did you know that?") But numerous as in a week, not in a DAY! Now, I'm not complaining because I love hugs and kisses and being told I love you....what mom wouldn't?

But, when I found out that the underlying issue on Thursday is that he's afraid daddy and I are going to die and leave him it concerned me. And why this book in particular? Why did Charlotte affect him so profoundly? It took him about 2 hours to fall asleep Thursday night. And numerous trips by Daddy back into his room to reassure him that he was still here.

He and I talked about it again today. I explained that Daddy and I would be around for a LONG time and that we weren't planning on leaving him. He said not till I'm your age? I said "Shessh, Zachary, I hope even older!!!"

His sentimental, sensitive side is going to be a downfall for me for years to come. I can already see it....he comes home after his first girlfriend dumps him...just crushed. And I'm going to cry with him. I'm going to hate her as much, if not more, than he does. *sigh* How did my mom do it with me?

How will you be described?

Charles -- [adjective]: Smells like teen spirit 'How" will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

My husband. Niiiiccceee.

A Hero's Journey

So, my friend Matt is asking all of us who read his blog The Hero Workshop to write up our own hero journey. Because basically anyone who was a camp counselor at some point was a hero to someone, and took a journey to become that person.

I'm finding it VERY difficult to even start to write. My journey started because I didn't want to live at home any longer under my dad's authoritarian rule. I didn't have any altruistic motives. And while I was there, I defintiely enjoyed working with the kids, it's something I had done for years before that in 4-H. Maybe I should just sit down and start writing and then prune later. My best writings are typically reviewed and re-written over a 2 week time period.

My husband however did write up his journey. I love his writing. He can be so descriptive, emotional and poignant. It's not a side that everyone typically sees, not even me on a regular basis. But the story disturbed me a little. He revealed things that I never knew about and actually things that I believed to be true were lies. But, at least the same lies had been told to every single other person in his life. It makes me wonder again if you live a lie for so long, it doesn't become the truth. I'm not mad at him for this, but in a way I am hurt. Not so much because of the general lie, but because of the actual truth behind it, which I've never been told about. I've thought about it for a few days now and have decided that there isn't much I need to do. Eveyone has skeletons in their closet. Most couples never discuss sexual experiences as in depth or personally as we have. So what if he omitted one. It happened over 20 years ago, while I was still in 6th grade!!! I guess I have a harder time with these things because I tend to be extremely open and expect everyone else to be too.

Maybe that's why I'm having a hard time writing my story...because of my skeletons that only about 4 people know about. Those skeletons in some way really define who I am and why some of the paths I chose were chosen, even if subconsciencly.

Hospital again...

This time for me.

On Friday night I started having some cramping and back cramping. I was having some pelvic/abdominal pain, intermixed with this cramping. I got home from work and laid down thinking that would help and it still was happening. There were times it was so strong, the cramps would literally take my breath away.

Well, 24 hours later it was still happening. I was getting a little worried. So I placed a call to Sameerah and she said to go get check at the birthing center. So, we make some phone calls...find someone to watch the boys for a couple of hours, and head off to the hospital. Sameerah mentioned bladder or kidney infection so we wanted to get checked out.

Turns out (after 3 hours in there) that I was dehydrated. So they sent me home with implicit instructions to drink AT LEAST 8-8 oz glasses of water. That's what I'm working on. Dr. Maynard (who is incredibly cute) also said to use some hot packs for the cramping and pain and it's worked wonders!

So, today I'm feeling better. I just feel exhausted. I'm also feeling a little overwhelmed by the amount of stuff we have to do AND the fact the van is broken AGAIN. I'm starting to wonder if karma isn't punishing me for something. I just want two running vehicles again so I dont' have to get up at 6:30 to take Chuck to work. Good bye t.v. money :(

Last Christmas present...

is on it's way to me!

Yipee!!

Chuck's other Christmas presents were okay, I guess...but I really think he'll like this one. I ordered it on the 15th, hoping and praying that I'd have it NEAR Christmas. On January 2nd, I finally had enough and emailed the company. I just got confirmation that it was shipped today!

So hopefully in 3-5 days I can see if he likes what I picked out for him!

Staples are out!

And Lucas couldn't be happier! He was so proud he wanted to show and tell everyone he was a brave boy and got his staples out!

A little background:

Rewind to Christmas Day evening. Lucas, Zachary, my two nephews and my oldest brother were wrestling and playing and goofing around. It was 9:00 pm. They are all in their jammies. Lucas was wearing his brand new Buzz Lightyear jammies and was so happy to be in them (big surprise!) Chuck had already loaded up the car and it was sitting in my brother's driveway warming up. We're standing at the dining room table, talking to my mom and watching all the boys (the big boys included) wrestle and play and enjoy Christmas as a family. It's always heartwarming to me to see the big boys play too. Anyway, somehow Lucas fell and hit his head on a bookcase. Typically not a big deal.

But he was screaching like I've never heard before and rubbing his head furiously. That's when we noticed the blood. Now, Chuck and I are not stupid people and we definitely don't tend to overreact when something happens to one of the kids, so we're like Okay, let's get some of the bleeding stopped and see what we're dealing with. It was gashed open about an inch or so long and it looked pretty deep. The wound was gaping open. By the time we were able to see anything, Lucas was already done crying. He's such a trooper!

By this time, we're in the kitchen, getting ice. I go into the living room to explain to Zachary that Lucas got hurt and we need to take him to the hospital and he'll be spending the night with Uncle Dan, Uncle Spike, Grandma and Grandpa (which, trust me, didn't hurt his feelings AT ALL!) Go back into the kitchen and Chuck and Uncle Dan are wrapping Lucas' head with an ACE bandage in order to hold the ice in place. I'll have to post pictures because it really was hilarious. Here this kid is: his shoulder covered in blood, eyes a little red from crying with a HUGE bandage wrapped around his head with a lump where the ice was.

So, off to the hospital we go. Me sitting in the back because there was also concern about him having a concussion, and to help settle poor little Lucas.

We only had to wait minutes before being seen to get checked in and then quickly whisked away to the backroom. Lucas was such a trooper!! He was so good and sat on the bed and played with his new Buzz Lightyear toy (Thank God for whoever made Buzz Lightyear). The dr. wanted us to use a cotton ball full of anesthetic to try to get the wound numbed before using the staple gun (which btw, didn't work very well) so we sat putting this cotton ball on his head for 40 minutes. Again, Lucas was just a trooper!

Then came the not so fun part. The actual staples. Chuck held down his body and I held his head still. That was absolutely the worst thing ever. Holding your child down while he's sobbing, his face beet red, crying out "momma!" I felt so horrible...but I also knew it was for the best. 3 staples later and he was done. The minute the last staple was in, Lucas pretty much quit crying. Tough little boy, he is!

So, we left about 2 hours and 5 minutes after we arrived to the hospital with simple instructions: Don't let him take a bath or soak his head. Okay...can do.

Fast forward to today:
We go into the hospital and I tell Lucas that this is the place where mommy will have the baby in the a few months. "Really?" he asks.

They call us back and just put us in the hallway bed...we won't be there long.

Lucas asks "I get my staples out NOW?!"
Me: "Yup!"
Lucas: "No, you have baby first!"
Me: "Um, no, mommy's not going to have the baby for a few more months bubba!"
Lucas: "I get my staples out of my head first then!"
Me: "Yup...now you have to sit up here and be a good boy"
Lucas: "Cuz, I don't want to fall in the ospitle and get more staples in my head"
Me: "Nope. We don't want to do that!"

He was so cute and being so grown up. He whinged about the second one being pulled and jumped a little bit, but otherwise did such a good job being a big boy today! I'm so proud of him!

20 week appt and ULTRASOUND!

Well, I'm 20 weeks now. Almost 21 according to my ticker!

I went back to the dr. today and had my ultrasound. Before I go into those results, let me just talk about the beforehand prep.

Who the hell's idea was it to take a woman who is pregnant with her THIRD child and already has incontinence problems and have her drink 32 oz of water and then hold it? Hmm? Because that person should be shot.

NO kidding. I actually put a freaking pad on so that I wouldn't pee myself if I accidently coughed, sneezed or laughed hard. Because, hell, even on a good day I can do that. Let alone the times I have my bladder full to the point of wanting to throw up because of it.

My husband thought this whole ordeal was miraclously funny. He would have thought it was really funny had I pee'd all over him, because honest to God there was a flood when I finally did go. And then 15 minutes later when I had to go again.

Cruel and unusual punishment was outlawed in our country a long time ago. I wonder if anyone ever told the ultrasound technicians that.

Okay, that off my chest I can get on to the results. The baby is growing perfectly on target. I was measuring at a due date of May 19. Wow. Very close to my original estimate of an actual due date of May 20. I guess I know when I had sex afterall ;) It's a little surreal to me though to have a baby actually of normal size. My boys were so big (9 1/2 lbs, 23 inches and 8 1/2 lbs, 22 1/2 inches) that a baby measuring normal is a little unusual.

The technician couldn't clearly see the brain or all of the body organs. Apparently, this isn't all that uncommon and nothing for reason of concern. My midwife put it very gently that ultrasound travels best through water and not so great through "soft tissue". Read that "fat". I know...I'm not in denial. So we'll have another ultrasound at 28 weeks to make sure everything is okay.

I got a couple of really cute ultrasound pictures...one of the bottom of the little foot. Awe, I just love baby feet!!!

Oh, yea, and did I forget to mention that we are having A GIRL???? I'm freaking ecstatic and somewhat still in shock even though I was pretty sure I was having a girl. I had a hard time enjoying the ultrasound and the moment because of the fact I had to pee so bad, and the boys were not behaving really well. But I started to get teary eyed. When I went in to go pee, I think more than just that was released. I started to cry. I dryed my eyes and went back in the room to be shown to another room to meet with my midwife. I was bawling by that time. Did I mention I'm emotional? I am on a regular basis. Get me pregnant a third time and it's even worse! The nurse asked me "Are you crying because you're happy???" I nodded. I'm having a girl. How can that not make you happy?

Wow...how time flies...

When you're on vacation!

Well, at least a vacation from work! Chuck and I both took off the 3 days between Christmas and New Years so that we could have 11 days off and only use 24 hours of annual leave. It has been ABSOLUTELY wonderful being home together; however, I wish we could have gotten more done. But, considering it is the holidays...and that always means visiting tons of relatives and seeing friends we don't see too often...I should have known better.

One good thing about being off from work is that I've reconnected with my husband. Or at least I feel like I have. Sex is good again. Okay, not to say it was BAD before because when we have it its always good, but it's just never abundant enough for me. Considering we work opposite schedules we don't have too much of an opportunity. Being off together, we've taken lots of opportunities. YAY!

Bad thing is...I realize I really don't want to go back to work. At least not where I am now. I'm dreading going back tomorrow. And in some ways, I'm thinking that maybe I don't want to go back at all. I think I could handle being a SAHM. Even though we could never afford it. I've always thought I would go crazy...but with Zachary in preschool, and me not working nights, I would be having some extra sleep, some alone time with Lucas, and naptimes to myself to catch up on things considering that I got household stuff done while they were up playing. *sigh* All wishful thinking though.

But then again, during this 11 day period I think we've been sleeping at home for like 4 nights. The rest of the time, we've spent seeing Shannon, Barb and Logan; Matt and Karen; my parents; Chuck's parents. And spending the night wherever we go. We've come home, slept, repacked the bag in the morning and left again. But it's been kinda fun. I had an AWESOME time seeing Matt and Karen....there's something so comfortable with them. Granted, Matt, Chuck and I go WAAAY back but I like Karen too. I guess that's what makes it different. I usually don't like my guy friend's wives or girlfriends. But Karen is cool...easy to talk to, down to earth and smart. I like those traits. We played some game with them and it was so much fun...I honestly can't remember the last time we had couple time and spent time as COUPLES doing interactive stuff. I know Chuck throughly enjoyed himself too.

So, now we start a new year...and I hope we can keep connections with our friends better than we did in the last year. They do a body good.