Too crunchy to be mainstream...

and yet to mainstream to be crunchy.

Ever think that once you left high school you were all done being pigeon-holed into one stereotype or another? I did. I reveled in going to college so that I could start all over again and meet new people and have new experiences. Plus, I had hoped that I wouldn't be put into any one category. Because, quite frankly, I don't fit into one category.

Enter mom-dom.

Seriously, I don't fit in anywhere in the mom-dom world. I'm too crunchy to be mainstream and I'm too mainstream to be crunchy. Once again, I'm in a world where neither side accepts the strange and unusual in the case of the mainstreamers nor the unintelligent and sheeple according to the crunchies.

What the hell am I talking about to those who have no idea?

Well, as I've had more children I've become decidedly more crunchy. My husband has informed me of this numerous times.

*I breastfeed. I'm trying to make it to one year this time, we'll see how that pans out. E was without formula for the first 7 1/2 weeks of her life. I am very proud of that fact considering that both my boys had formula before leaving the hospital. This time we've been a bit more successful. I guess Momma is a little more comfortable this time around.
*I co-sleep. And it's not so much that I do it because I feel the kids HAVE to be close to me. I do it for ease and more sleep. My 3 and 5 year old still come and co-sleep with me some nights. Zachary- not so much now that his baby sister was born but there is still that rare occasion. And Elizabeth sleeps in her crib until 5 or 6 when I usually bring her to bed with me to feed. Breastfeeding is wonderful for co-sleeping and momma getting some actual sleep!
*I baby-wear. With the boys we had a hiking back-pack. Now I have a Moby-wrap. I. LOVE.IT! When I was still on maternity leave, I would wear it around the house to cook dinner because it was inevitably the time she would be the most fussy. She would settle right down. Now, I wear it for walks, hiking, to the grocery store, mowing the lawn, wherever! I'm looking at getting a Mei-Tei next.
*I cloth diaper. Quite frankly, I've become a bit of an addict. I'm constantly watching my diaperswappers.com board to be on the lookout for good deals. I've recently found that I'm in love with Fuzzi Bunz. I was a little sad going on vacation and not having Elizabeth in cute little cd butt! Honestly, it's the only thing that holds up some of her 0-3 month pants!!!

But then there are those mainstream things I do that the crunchy sect just can't get over. And being slightly crunchy in the above areas doesn't mean a lick because I'm unintelligent and uninformed because I do these things:

*I vaccinate my children. Completely. I don't skip vaccines, I don't delay vaccines, and I don't give my ped crap about it.
*I'm planning on putting my oldest on mood stabilizing drugs. I have no problem also working on his diet and cutting out things like red dye #40 (which I already started working on) but from dealing with the chemical imbalances in my husband, I'm pretty damn sure Zachary will really, really benefit from medication.
*I circumcised my boys. This is a *big* one. We did do research on this. It was not a decision Chuck and I made lightly. And yes, I said Chuck and I. Because contrary to some woman's beliefs, even though I pushed out the child, he is not mine alone and his father should and did have say in whatever we decided to do. From the research that we saw, nothing was 100% one way or the other. So it was basically a personal choice, and we made that choice together.

I guess my point is: no matter where you go or how old you are, people will stereotype you. There is still that opinion out there that "you can't hang with us, if you do that, because you are stupid". And I just want to say GROW UP! We're 30 somethings, right? Why can't you just accept that maybe they don't do it *your* way but that's not wrong....for THEM.

The idea that because you aren't one way OR the other means that you are unintelligent or uneducated is simply offensive.


Hannah said...

I agree, Lisa. Why can't people just be themselves? And if that means taking some ideas from one "camp" and some from another, what's wrong with that? I think the problem stems from the fact that a lot of mothers, in general, are extremely judgemental and competitive. I've seen it time and time again.

I agree that your beliefs and opinions should be YOURS and don't have to belong to a "group". You're unique, so you should be allowed to have your own ways of doing things. I agree with you completely about people needing to grow up. There have been many times I've wanted to say that to somebody who is being judgemental or criticising my decisions. But some people just never do!

noname said...

I'm trying to grow up and get out of this habit, but it's hard. I seriously dress down when I'm in situations that could go bad. Like, sweats and an old flannel jacket. It gives people the impression that I'm dumb and can be walked all over. I do that so they'll never see me coming when the time comes and it's worked great in the past. I used to think it was just me having a great understanding of stereotypes. Now I see I need to stop living on the defense.

That said, it's so very important to be YOU no matter what they think. Afterall, you're the one looking at yourself in the mirror before you go to bed.

Christi said...

Ah, the ways of mothers! I too couldn't stand high school because of the 'groups'. I've made a point in my life to not stereotype anyone but I do find myself falling back into it every now and again. It's hard for me simply because I live on the edge of constantly defending myself when it comes to my family. And it's not so much that I want to defend my stance but more I want people to understand it. I have lived around and with the uneducated and those that lack initiative and still deal with many today. Yes, I probably should just stop trying. I agree everyone is different and should do what they want. It doesn't affect me so it shouldn't matter. I do believe in women knowing what is going on and getting smart and educated about things however that doesn't mean you should put someone down because they haven't done the same as you. Hang in there, Lisa, either they'll come right or you can more on ;)


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