So, my friend Matt is asking all of us who read his blog The Hero Workshop to write up our own hero journey. Because basically anyone who was a camp counselor at some point was a hero to someone, and took a journey to become that person.
I'm finding it VERY difficult to even start to write. My journey started because I didn't want to live at home any longer under my dad's authoritarian rule. I didn't have any altruistic motives. And while I was there, I defintiely enjoyed working with the kids, it's something I had done for years before that in 4-H. Maybe I should just sit down and start writing and then prune later. My best writings are typically reviewed and re-written over a 2 week time period.
My husband however did write up his journey. I love his writing. He can be so descriptive, emotional and poignant. It's not a side that everyone typically sees, not even me on a regular basis. But the story disturbed me a little. He revealed things that I never knew about and actually things that I believed to be true were lies. But, at least the same lies had been told to every single other person in his life. It makes me wonder again if you live a lie for so long, it doesn't become the truth. I'm not mad at him for this, but in a way I am hurt. Not so much because of the general lie, but because of the actual truth behind it, which I've never been told about. I've thought about it for a few days now and have decided that there isn't much I need to do. Eveyone has skeletons in their closet. Most couples never discuss sexual experiences as in depth or personally as we have. So what if he omitted one. It happened over 20 years ago, while I was still in 6th grade!!! I guess I have a harder time with these things because I tend to be extremely open and expect everyone else to be too.
Maybe that's why I'm having a hard time writing my story...because of my skeletons that only about 4 people know about. Those skeletons in some way really define who I am and why some of the paths I chose were chosen, even if subconsciencly.
7 years ago
3 comments:
I read what your DH wrote, Lisa, and it's very insightful. I can see how some of that would be disturbing if you are only finding it out just now. Obviously I have no way of knowing what you didn't know lol. I'm an open book too with DH. The different between us is that I am open to anything and will answer any question honestly and truthfully, but he doesn't ask. He doesn't care about my past and doesn't want to know. I want to know lol. So that caused a few arguments in the past. Even now when I think we have been together long enough (going on 7 years), I can ask some questions. But he always thinks I have motive behind it and doesn't want to get into it lol. For me it's just general knowledge about him and past relationships. He thinks it's a way for me to get pissed lol. I can't win ;)
I read Chuck's story too, and it was very well written. I enjoyed reading it. But I can see how there may have been things in there that hurt you if you didn't know about them. I think you are being very mature about it though, not getting upset and mad, but just simply acknowledging that his past is his past, and his future is now with you and that's all the matters :-)
I agree with Hannah.. you are being very mature about it. You're a good wife and a good person. People like you and I don't seem to hold anything back but that doesn't mean that everyone is the same. If you look at it one way... isn't it kinda cool that even after so long together you still have things to discover about your husband?
Hugs
Julie
P.S. May I add you to my blogroll? Please feel free t say no if you're not comfortable with it.
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