2007-02-14

5 words to describe your marriage

Among the "moms" today there was discussion about what 5 words would describe your marriage/relationship.

It took me a few minutes to come up with some words. Not because I couldn't think of any, it's just that some didn't fit.

As I was reading through what other people had used to describe and define their relationship, I felt a little sad for them.

Comfortable, Relaxed, Safe were used on several peoples lists....and not just one of them, but ALL of them.

Chuck and I have a comfortable relationship and I definitely feel safe with him and relaxed around him. Afterall, we've been together for 10 years and have *almost* 3 children together. But I don't think of those words as defining our relationship. They are a part of it, sure, but doesn't define who we are.

I chose 5 words and still was struggling for the correct word on some of them:

Unconditional
Enjoyable
Hard
Passionate
Complimentary

After I wrote my words, another person used Challenging and I think I like that word even better than hard. Our relationship is full of challenges. It's definitely not perfect, however, we are both unconditionally committed to our relationship and making it work that not being perfect is a-ok. I would rather have a relationship that was enjoyable and passionate, than a laxa-daisy relationship that was so comfortable it became boring.

Why is our relationship challenging? Might I remind you of the *almost* 3 kids. That's challenge in and of itself. We also work opposite shifts and see each other maybe 10 minutes a day. And yes, we have problems. But those problems we are working on diligently, and I think we are becoming a stronger, more united couple because of it.

After I wrote my words down, I asked Chuck what words he would use to describe us. I think it's a good sign that we chose the same parts of our relationship to define us...and used similar (even though they aren't the same words).

Love
Commitment
Partnership
Frustrating
Kinky

So here's how I see our comparison:

Unconditional=Commitment
Enjoyable=Love (I didn't want to sound clique by using love. LOL)
Hard=Frustrating
Passionate=Kinky (um, yea, we are passionately kinky. Anyone knowing us IRL would say so!)
Complimentary=Partnership

And those words are all a-ok with me. While it's not perfect, it's the fact that we are working on it. And as one mom said "Getting better all the time".

That's us. Happy Valentine's Day!

64 comments:

Hannah said...

Happy Valentines Day to you, Lisa!

I think you chose great words that define your relationship. And it is pretty cool that Chuck's were similar to yours. That's awesome! I might have to ask Rob what his 5 would be and see if they'd match mine ;-)

Head Artichoke said...

I've been meaning to email you a favourite song of mine. I can't find just the lyrics, but here's the chords.

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Lisa said...

Wow, Matt, that's like absolutely perfect for our life. I got tears reading it...I'd love to hear it (and I'm sure you have it!)

Julie Julie Bo Boolie said...

Isn't it nice to know you're totally in sync with your partner? How wonderful is that!

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