Seven Deadly Sins

So I posted a while ago that I was having anger attacks. I would link to that post but honestly I don't know how!

The sermon last weekend at church was regarding Anger. And how it is one of the seven deadly sins. The sermon was awesome. And 100% totally. hit. home. To the hubby too.

Father Jim used 3 balloons to illustrate his point. One balloon represented taking your anger and giving into it and blowing up. Loudly. Boisterously. Making it known to EVERYONE that you are not happy.

The second balloon represented taking your anger and internalizing it. Keeping it all in. That balloon of anger NEVER goes away. It's always there. Building up and causing resentment.

The third balloon represented forgiveness. And the best way to deal with anger. How the best way to dissolve your anger is to forgive. Forgive the person you think you are angry at, and forgive the situation that created the anger inside of you. But also to forgive yourself.

Here's to more forgiving.

Survey

My mom tagged me in an email to do this little survey and I thought I would post it and let everyone know a little more about me.

Four jobs I have had in my life:
1. Veterinary Assistant
2. Front Desk Manager for Chiropractic office
3. YMCA Ranch counselor
4. LA Weight Loss counselor/manager

Four movies I would watch over and over:
1. Pretty Woman
2. Dirty Dancing
3. Cocktail
4. 8 Seconds

Four places I have lived:
1. Swartz Creek, MI
2. East Lansing, MI
3. Fenton, MI
4. Grand Ledge, MI

Four TV shows I love to watch:
1. CSI: Las Vegas
2. Without a Trace
3. King of Queens
4. Law and Order: SVU

Four places I have been on vacation:
1. London, England
2 Toronto, Ontario
3. Bruce Peninsula/Niagara Falls
4. Florida

Four web sites I visit daily
1. morethanmoms.net/mtm (my mom's board for Michigan...I LOVE IT!)
2. hotmail
3. Yahoo Lansing Moms
4. Any of a number of blogs

Four of my favorite foods:
1. Mexican
2. Cookies (this should be a food group!)
3. Anything lemon
4. Big, juicy, sweet purple grapes

Four places I would rather be right now:
1. Home with my boys (instead of working)
2. Ireland
3. In bed (it's 10:20 pm...it's an hour past my bedtime already! *L*)
4. Muskegon visiting our friends having their first baby!

Four favorite things to do:
1. hang out with all my boys and family
2. Scrapbook
3. Read
4. Sleep (among other bedroom activities ;))

And to all of you who read my blog (and I know there's not many!): you've been tagged!

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." Dr. Seuss

Quirks

Mine, not the boys'!

I don't know why I've been thinking about this lately but I figured I would blog about it and get it off my mind! I've never considered myself and incredibly quirky person, but the last month or so I keep noticing things that I do that make me wonder "why?". And do I want my kids doing stuff like this? At least it's nothing too terribly weird. At least I don't think so!

* When I get up to shut off the alarm in the morning, I have to lay back down facing the opposite direction from what I was laying when I got up. I actually think about it and make a conscience decision to lay the opposite way.

* I use the 1st, 3rd or 5th bathrooms at work. If one of them are out of order for some reason, I can use the 2nd or 4th one, but it just feels weird!

* Going to sleep, I have to have the blanket between my feet and rub my feet together.

* When Chuck and I actually used to sleep together...my butt always had to touch a piece of his body in order to sleep. It's not so much a big deal now because I'm used to falling asleep without him, but I know when I go back to night and he's in bed first, I'll do it again.

* I eat my food in layers if it's layered. I.E. Twix candy bars. They have to be eaten caramel first, then the cookie bottom. Snickers? Same way. The peanut butter and chocolate Little Debbies? Those are eaten layer for layer until they are gone.

* When I'm very tired or very upset, I still suck my finger. I know, I know...I'm almost 29. But it's a comfort thing. That's why I never pushed Zachary very hard about quitting the binky...I think if you push it it becomes even more of a comfort for the kiddo.

* One that is of particular annoyance to my hubby: When drinking from a 2 liter (yes, I actually drink from a 2 liter on occassion) I press in the sides of the bottle and put the cap back on without pressing them back out. So it's dented in when he goes to get a drink...it drives him nuts. I never knew I did that...but now I make an effort to pop the bottle back out (unless I'm irritated with him! *L*)

Those are the ones that I can think of right now. I'm sure my hubby could list tons more!

Mother/Son dance 2006

Zachary and I went to a Mother/Son dance through our local parks and rec. last Thursday night. We had such an amazing time! First, it was wonderful being able to spend some one-on-one time with Zachary and be able to focus on him alone. I know he's been needing someof that! Second, it was totally his night! We got dressed up and went to the really nice hotel where they were having it. When we walked in the main doors, there is a huge water feature and two glass elevators. Zachary just stopped dead in his tracks and his eyes were as big as saucers. He said "Momma, can we ride those???" So,off we went to check in and get our complimentary picture taken and then back to ride the elevators. We ended up running into another mom/son combo that we go to church with and Zachary and Johnny are friends so we rode the elevator about 10 times with them! The boys thought it was so great being able to go all the way up and still see the water down below.

Zachary and I danced to a couple of slow songs but mostly fast stuff and he was definitely busting a move!!! It was so cute watching him. He got to eat FOUR cookies...which is a very rare treat for him and seemingly one of the highlights of his night.

They played the locomotion at one point during the night and all the boys (and a few moms) got together and pull off a train that circled almost the whole banquet room. I stood there and watched him do this and seriously almost started crying. I can't believe how big my little boy has gotten...and it felt like just a small step till I see him doing that at his wedding in full tux with his new bride all in white. *sigh* They do grow up so fast so I'm so glad that he can look back on his mother/son dance (I plan to make this a yearly event) and have good memories of time with his mom.

Ah, back to the blog

Well, I'm moving to nights. There's lots and lots of reasons why. Financial, family and career oriented reasons. Our goal is to both be on days within the next year. That way when Zachary is ready to go into kindergarden we are able to be at home with him in the evenings.
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Zachary is becoming more and more outspoken and mouthy. My mom laughs at me because some of the things he's saying are EXACTLY what I said to her. But like I tried to explain I was saying them at 11, not 3 1/2!!!!

I swatted his hand the other day for grabbing something he wasn't supposed to be getting. His response was "That didn't hurt!" I remember saying that to my mom. Several times. I guess you reap what you sew!

Last night I asked him to do something and he ignored me and stuck his tongue out at me. He hasn't done that ever. So I told him that he would not be getting his after school treat. Then he tried to back peddle what happened. Him: "But I had a bug in my mouth." Me: "Zachary, there was no bug in your mouth. I do not like liers." Him: "Well, there was a bug outside and I was sticking my tongue out at him and blah, blah, blah." Yes, my 3 year old son actually said blah, blah, blah. I really had to watch myself to keep from laughing about that because honestly I say that all the time. But this lying thing is getting worse. I guess some people would say that he has a very good imagination. However, I do not want that imagination to get out of hand.
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And wow....the blaming is starting already. Lucas can't even say Zachary yet but he definitely gets his point across that it was his brother and not him that did something. It usually goes something like this:

*CRASH!*

Zachary: Lucas did it!

Lucas: Runs to me, grunting and pointing in Zachary's direction. Usually crying.

In these instances, they usually both get in trouble because typically one of them did something to the other and the other retaliated. Both do something they know they aren't supposed to do. I hope that when they get older they get smarter about this like my brothers and I and cover each others back and then hold it against the other one as blackmail for future use! *LOL*
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Have you ever looked at your kids and the traits that they are exhibiting and wonder what they are going to be like when they are pre-teens, teens, and young adults? I've thought about this...and we see it whenever the boys are playing and playing with the things that they choose to play with.

Zachary is our artist. He loves to paint and create. Do crafts with me. He's still an incredibly active and agile boy and loves to get dirty, but is usually creating something in the dirt or sand or on the concrete. He's so sensitive and empathic. I see him being very much like my younger brother and I. We were always the people that everyone went to with problems. Because we were empathic and tried our hardest to help everyone. Like this morning, I was coughing. Nothing big. Zachary was very concerned and asked "are you okay mommy? Are you sure?"

Lucas is our jock. He's active and agile and all out daredevil. He loves to throw balls, hit balls, kick balls, and try to make baskets. Anything that has to do with sports he loves. He hates to sit and try to color or draw or create things. That's boring for him....give him a ball and he'll play for hours.

Now obviously we are going to encourage the boys to try everything. Get to know exactly what you like. We do not plan on ever telling them no you can't do that...because that's not your "thing" but it's interesting to see how brothers can be so different.

The Good Ole Days

For some reason, I was incredibly nostalgic yesterday. To the point of sadness really. I don't know what caused this sudden burst of nostalgia. It could have been going through my college alma mater town last night. It could have been the fact I just had a really bad day and was wishing for simpler times when I had no bills to pay, no worries in the world except which bar I was going to for the weekend and if my friends were mad at me. It could have been seeing pictures of my friend's daughter's dance costume. What was I thinking about?

I was remembering the times I was in dance class until I was 13. And how on every Monday in the 10 minutes between classes, me and Sarah and a couple of other girls would run downstairs to Luea's Pharmacy and get a treat. Sometimes it was a 10 cent sucker, sometimes a candybar or a pop. But you could always hear one of the other classes going on upstairs. The tap-tap-tapping of the tapshoes. I miss dancing.

I was remembering college. How carefree it was. How my friends and I all lived within steps of each other since we all lived within four rooms of each other in the dorm. I remember the first time Chuck told me he loved me and how I ran across the hall in tears (he told me on the phone) to Heather's room where everyone was watching ER and said "He said IT!" and all my friend's where so happy for me.

I was remembering what it was like to just have one child. We (meaning Zachary, Lucas and I) went to a birthday party last night for a 2 year old at Ceasarland. Holy Moly! Trying to chase both of them by myself was insane! And there were all the mom's talking about being tired chasing one! Ah, they'll learn what it's like to be going in two different directions at all times. Plus, Lucas was being so incredibly whiny last night. I think he's hitting into his terrible two's. Yipee. (insert deep sarcasm)

Ah, the simpler times. And yet, I love my life as it is now. Just wish it were simpler sometimes!

I was reprimanded yesterday for internet usage at work. But just not the fact I have been checking my blogs. Apparantly, they are saying that I have viewed sexual material. I can honestly say I have NEVER viewed sexual material at work. I was kind of offended by the suggestion. But no one wants to find out what sites I viewed because that could get other dept's and areas involved. So now I feel like I've been dubbed a pervert by everyone. It just irritates me that I've been singled out when two of my co-workers spend just as much if not more time on the internet as I do. And considering I don't take my breaks or lunch, I feel that I'm justified for taking some time out during my day to take a mental break. But not now ;(

Chuck was offered a job last night. After receiving notice that he didn't get the other day job, they've found a different one for him on days and are offering it to him without even posting it. Chuck is incredibly upset for the way they are "manipulating" us. And of course, his sense of fairness comes out because he's being offered the position around the typical UAW rules and regulations of offering jobs. The State can do this when they want to. But have the need to move, and oops, sorry can't do anything. But why would they just offer him a position? Because they want me on nights and they have to move him off of nights in order for me to be the lead worker. Chuck and I discussed this a little bit last night. Wondering what exactly to do. And as much as I hate us being on opposite shifts and having them move us around like they are trying to do, the extra $300-$400 a month would be so handy right now. I'm so behind in bills and it is frustrating and stressful. I think there are other jobs opening up that are promotions for me soon, so I may just take the lead worker and then in 6-8 months move to a higher level position with more money again. At least it will get me out of downtown where everyone thinks I'm a pervert. I just never have felt like I really fit in over there. Ah, the decisions that have to be made! This would be a big shift for the boys. They will love seeing their daddy every night...I'm a *little* worried at how he's going to do for the 2 or 3 hours that he has them alone but the meds have been helping wonders and so hopefully things will be okay. Plus, he'll be getting his sleep still and that's a big contributor to his mood. It also means pulling the boys out of their current daycare and finding another daycare that charges for half days. Our current daycare is pay full price no matter what. I really like Zachary being in preschool...but not enough to be paying $400 a month for it. I just hope if we do make the switches it's not too difficult on the boys.

Random Blather

Well, Chuck got the letter yesterday that he did not get the job on days. So that also means I didn't get the promotion onto nights. Ah, well, I know that there is a master plan that I may not be aware of so that must mean that something better is out there waiting for both of us. We'll see. But he did stay home from work last night and it was SOO wonderful having him around in the evening and helping with the boys and doing the dishes when I gave the boys their bath. *sigh* Someday we'll be a family during the week. Somedays I really wish I didn't have to work. That I could stay home with the boys and do crafts and take naps with them, and clean the house for my husband. Then they act like crazy monkeys (like they did last night) and I'm kinda glad that I get to escape for a little while and go to work. But I can't always dodge the guilt. And it's been almost 4 years since I had Zachary and started working again. I guess that mommy guilt never completely goes away.

I caved. I know. I'm horrible. Ash Wednesday I stated I was giving up pop and sweets. And I thought it was ambitious. And it was. I couldn't handle it anymore. So I decided I will give up the pop and work on healthier eating but not necessarily cutting out all sweets. Just eating them when I feel the need to eat them and not eat them at any other time. I feel like if I deny myself certain things I end up craving them beyond all belief. So I figured that if I decided to just eat healthy, then sometimes I can have a cupcake after dinner if I haven't indulged the rest of the day. So we'll see how that goes. As of last weekend, I had lost 2 lbs. So something must be working!

Ash Wednesday

Well, today starts Lent for us Catholics. During Lent, we give up the things that we enjoy the most in order to sacrifice ourselves in the way Jesus sacrificed for us. So I gave up sweets and pop. Ambitious? Definitely. I figured maybe I would try losing some weight during this time as well by eating better. So I packed a pretty healthy lunch and had a small breakfast, am drinking my water, and have had no pop. And I. am. starving! I can eat nothing all day long any other day but the minute I say I'm going to eat healthier, less, or cut something out I have a raging appetite. Some may say I don't really want to lose weight. But I do! I think my mind is all screwed up when it comes to eating. But is that the only thing that is making my tummy grumble and my head hurt? Oh yea, I just absolutely love the no caffeine, no sugar migraines. On top of the period migraines. Just lovely. But I'm not giving up this time. I'm not giving into the freaking headache. I noticed my figure in the window at 3:30 am this morning and disgusted myself. I thought to myself "How can that man, sitting there eating his dinner, find me even remotely attractive?" But he still does. But I bet he'd find me WAY more attractive about 100 lbs lighter!!! So, I'm gonna be more irritable while my body adjusts to these things I'm doing to it. I hate being such a downer! So here's to many more days (46 to be exact) of no sweets, no pop and healthy eating. Hopefully after that 46 days I'll be a lot lighter and be able to keep this up!