Arrrrrggggghhhh!!!!

I'm so incredibly frustrated!

I've got a lot of shit going on in my personal life. A lot I so seriously don't want to document, some I do but can't yet, and some that I want to forget. So needless to say I'm tired, cranky and stressed to the max.

Then I get this JACKASS at work who decides he wants to pick a fight with me. These are seriously the days that I HATE being a working mom. Wouldn't it just be easier to stay at home and fight with my own children than dealing with other children in the work environment (children of the 28 year old variety?)

Last Friday, he was being disrespectful to our supervisor in front of all of us. Then he decided to go back and bring ME into his issues. Saying crap about me...and then said that I needed to go home and "learn some things from Chuck". Um, excuse me? I need to learn something from "my man"? Nope, don't think that's gonna fly with me. I am not below anyone because I am a woman. And that was completely disrespectful to even bring my husband's name into a nasty situation.

So then last night, he comes up here to talk to me about it. I told my super that I couldn't deal with it because I am honestly EXHAUSTED, physically and mentally. I honestly could not handle one more thing...nor tonight because of other events.

He has now taken that as a personal attack on him. I'm causing HIM stress. I'm causing HIM anxiety. Fucking please. Shut up and be an adult. I didn't say I wouldn't talk to you just that I didn't want to tonight!!! So now he's posting "rules" outside his cubicle that he feels I've broken, highlighting them and starring them. Talk about freaking hostile. I'm pissed. I so want to be petty and bitchy and retaliate but considering that I'm in a pseudo-supervisory role I can't and won't do that.

Too bad he couldn't be that professional as well.

So well behaved...

That's what someone told me today about *MY* children. *gasp*

Well-behaved? Are you crazy?

But then I watched them compared to the other 15 munckins there at the playdate, dumping food on the floor, dumping toys everywhere...

Wow. They were being well-behaved. Minus the running from one room to the next yelling "catch me mommy!" But he was just having fun...and so was I!

I think the reason why this mommy said it was Zachary's manners. He's such a polite kid most of the time. This instance he had just asked for cake by saying "May I please have a piece of cake too, Miss Jodi?" That's my boy.

It was crazy at the playdate but a lot of fun. I got to talk to a couple of momma's I don't usually talk to or see and the boys played very, very well with everyone today. And actually cleaned up when asked. It helped that they were driving dump trucks around, loading the toys into them and then dumping them.

One incident happened today that marred my "good mommy" image though. A friend came to me and said Lucas was wet. I was like, huh? Wet? Thinking how the heck did he get wet? There's no drinks out, we're all inside, he hasn't been into the bathroom...so how did he get all wet? I went and checked him out and sure enough his butt was soaked. I smelled his pants (ewwww...gross...I know to all those un-mothers anyways) and sure enough it was pee. WTH???

I took his pants down and he didn't have a freaking diaper on!!!!!! All the other moms were laughing at me because I was like WTH? He doesn't have a diaper on? You'd think that a "good mommy" would know or remember that they didn't put a diaper on! But I had JUST picked him up from DAYCARE before I went to the playdate...I hadn't changed him yet! He did have a diaper on, but it was down around one ankle!!! Apparently, they didn't have it velcroed very tight and came loose. Wonderful. So then I could tell my boy from the fact he was running around in just a diaper, shirt and socks. He looked mighty cute though :)

I'm doing the potty dance!

Because Lucas is on his way to training himself!

Yahoo!

He went twice by himself yesterday...that means I didn't even SUGGEST that he go potty. He wanted to and he did.

Tonight at dinner he told: "I'm pooping momma. I go potty."

Me: "Are you going right now?"

L: "NO! I go potty"

So off we trot to the bathroom. Buttwipes in tow because I just KNOW that he already went. But he didn't! He sat down and it took us a long long time but he did #1 and #2 and then asked to not have his diaper put back on and was dry till bathtime. That was about 1 1/2 hours or so.

Yay! I'm not pushing...but I'll be VERY happy when he's done with diapers.

Do you remember where you were?

On this day, just 5 years ago?

I do.

I was in the store where my husband worked picking out our wedding flowers. Yep. What a joyous occasion to be associating with the most tragic thing (I think) to have happened in my lifetime.

I remember when someone came into the breakroom and said a plane hit the first Twin Tower. We were all like "how the heck did someone hit the tower?"

Then, the second plane hit. We found a t.v. And sat huddled around a little t.v. wondering what the heck was happening to our world as we knew it.

Flowers no longer really mattered in the grand scheme of things.

I went to work a little bit later and we sat huddled around the radio there. Listening, worrying. My regional director's boyfriend was in the air at the time headed to the east coast. We hadn't heard anything from him or about him.

We were only blocks from the Michigan capital building.

After a few hours, it was VERY clear that we were going to be slow that day...and considering our location the CEO of the company sent us home, just in case.

I went home and glued myself to the t.v. Crying. Watching all of those fire fighters risking their lives and dying.

I felt personally attacked. I felt personally scared. I have a family full of fire fighters. All in Michigan, but I know how scary it is to watch them go into dangerous situations. I kept thinking about those men and women's families. Their children. I still cry thinking about it or seeing footage from that day.

Chuck and I both said that we didn't want to bring children into this world.


2 days later we found out we were pregnant with our first son, Zachary. Chuck and I cried. How could we think of bringing a child into this world of craziness and hate and unexpected? (Let alone the fact we weren't ready and not married).

Now, 5 years later, I look back and am so grateful for my son. And grateful for all those emergency responders that risk their lives to save ours.

What's up with my dreams?

Last night I had a dream that startled me so bad it literally woke me up...in a cold sweat. But that's just because I HATE rats/mice. With. a. passion.

It all started out very nice. I was having dinner with some friends from college whom I haven't seen since my freshman year. (IRL, one of these friends just recently contacted me via myspace!)

We were at an Applebee's and it was right on a nice clear pretty lake. We finished up and were leaving when in the foyer to the Applebees were three HUGE rats that were mutilated and only the heads were lying there with BIG teeth in hissing positions. I screamed...that's when I woke up.

I wonder what that all means! I've checked out some online dream dictionaries but none of it is making sense when you put it all together.

I guess just chalk it up to weirdness.

Yowch and Aaaaahhhh!

How can you be in pain and loving it?

When you get a rug burn on your nipple during sex. Yep, you heard me right.

On the nipple.

It hurts like hell (well, actually today it's slightly better than it was yesterday).

It's the curse of the big boobs and not having my own bed to sleep (or have sex) in!!!

But damn it was good. I love my hubby.

Is the natural world trying to tell me something???

Last night I had a VERY clear dream that I remembered when I woke up.

I dreamt that I had JUST taken a pregnancy test and it was positive. In my dream, I told Chuck and we were both ecstatic.

Now, when I was barely pregnant (I mean I hadn't even taken a preg test yet) I had the same potty traing dream. When I had it with Lucas, I woke up and told Chuck I was pregnant. He laughed. 2 weeks later I had a positive pregnancy test.

Then later tonight, I asked Lucas and Zachary what they wanted for Christmas. Lucas replied: "a baby, momma".

Zachary then about 1 hour later hit my boob and it hurt (rug burn..another story ;)) so I asked him not to do that again. His reply? "Why momma? Do you have another baby in your tummy?"

Okay, seriously, is someone trying to tell me something?

Short stories about the boys:

Zachary:

Actual conversation with daddy on Wednesday night.

Z: Mmmmmm....Daddy, can I have a bite of that? (pointing at Chuck's butterfinger ice cream bar).

D: Well, I don't know....(he should have been sleeping otherwise he'd have had his own).

Z: But I really, really like it!

D: How do you know that?

Z: (incredulous...he's the master of that) Well, it's COVERED in CHOCOLATE!

That's a daddy's boy right there!

Lucas:

While picking him up from school this morning, I was informed he was a brut. Well, nothing new to me, they've told me numerous times how incredibly strong and agile he is.

But this was different. He was apparently a mean boy today. Daycare said they didn't know what was wrong with him. He NEVER acts like this.

Zachary caught him biting another little boy. Then when Zachary called him out on it, Lucas threw rocks in Zachary's face. The list went on.

So I ask Lucas:

Where you a mean little boy today?

L: Yep. I was.

Honesty from a two year old. Lovely.