Friday nights

They kinda suck for me....and they kinda rock.

The suck because as I'm coming to work, everyone else is leaving for the weekend. In a huge rush to get out of here and enjoy the gorgeous weather that we've been having. I wish I were with them...done with my day and ready to start the weekend.

But they rock because Fridays are generally super laid back and really quiet at work. So I can chill, get my work done with little interruptions (always a good thing) and have some pleasant chit-chat with co-workers. And then I also have the knowledge that while everyone else is returning to work 8 am Monday morning...I have the whole day off!

On another note, this baby girl is seriously practicing to become a gymnastics star. Really, all I've felt for the last 2 days is tumbling and rumbling inside my tummy. This afternoon I laid down and took a nap with Zachary on my bed. True to form, I had to pee when I woke up. I rolled onto my back and baby girl did some serious backflips right onto my bladder. THAT woke me up...I whelped a little and Chuck laughed as I screamed that I needed to pee NOW!

I had my 32 week appt on last Monday and everything is going wonderfully. I gained 3 lbs, but I knew I would this time. I feel like I had been starving...and was ravinously hungry. Plus, everyone and their brother decided I needed more and more food. Someone from work brought me a 1 lb bag of jelly beans because I like them so. I DO Like them...but I also don't want to become a whale. Well, an even bigger whale!

Last Friday night, I went home early and was laying up close to Chuck...resting my belly on him and he was acting like a little schoolboy. It was so cute. He kept saying...hey, I felt Elizabeth! Was that her again? Hey, are you feeling that? Wow, that's so cool! I can feel her so well! It was a big deal to him and on Sunday he was telling my mom about it. I think it's so neat to see a daddy so excited and so interested in being a part of the pregnancy. This one has been a lot more laid back than the other two...WAY more laid back than Zachary's....just because it's not new this time. But, he went and proved again what a great daddy he is.

I got MEAT today!!!

And, um, get your mind out of the gutter ;) Although Chuck was home from work today (sick, yea, right) we both took a nap while the boys were napping. That seems more important to this pregnant momma right now anyways!

But, we did go to the butcher and pick up our 1/4 steer. YAY! I'm soooo looking forward to having a nice juicy, home-grown, corn-fed Porterhouse steak on Saturday. AND it should still be nice so we can have it on the grill. It's the only way to do it!

I grew up with steers, hogs, and rabbits, so there was always fresh, home-grown meat in the fridge. I missed that for our first 8 years together. But now, I work with a woman who raises Holsteins for slaughter and we get our meat from her. There is just something so satisfying about having a deep freeze full of steaks, roasts and hamburg. Great tasting steaks, roasts and hamburg nonetheless!

But now, I guess I should be careful. There was a new study concerning the connection between the amount of beef consumed during pregnancy and your unborn son's sperm count. Soooo, wonder what the connection will be made next for girls. *insert some sarcasm*

I guess I don't take a lot of stock in these "studies". The basis for this is them asking mom's their consumption of beef. But were other things taken in account? Say, intake of caffeine? Location of the mommas? Maybe it's something like in Erin Brockevich where there is underground chemicals creating problems. I'm just so sick of everything being blamed on the "unhealthy" cow. Everything in moderation, people.

Heroes and Superheroes

Ever wonder how a kid looks at heroes?

Like superheroes. That's what they relate them too. Heroes may not have cool super powers such as turning things to ice or having knives come out of their hands (Luke LOVES Wolverine from X-men) but they have powers none the less.

Wonder how I know this?

We were driving by a veterens cemetary and there were three flags plus the United States flag (which Zachary calls our national state flag). He asked what the three flags were for. So Chuck explained that they were for the Army, Navy and Airforce.

Zachary, being the questioner that he is, needed to know more. What does that mean?

Chuck explained that they fight for our country, to keep us safe and to protect us and our rights.

Zachary:

So they're all like superheroes?

Yes, yes, they are sweetie. And let's hope none of us ever forgets that.

Where to start?

I'm tired. That's a good place. I think I'm more tired now than I was in the beginning of this pregnancy. There are days I feel like I hit a brick wall and just can't move any longer. I talked to my midwife about this and the basic consensus is that is my body's way of saying "SLOW DOWN!" Today I slept from about 3 am to 8 am and then again from 10:45 to 11:45 and then again from 1:45 to 3:45. I'm so glad the boys are such good boys and still take naps with me in the afternoon!

But then I get to work and deal with bullshit. Constantly. I don't understand why people make decisions before they fully understand the concept of the job or what actually needs to happen or does happen. And then, when they don't know, they don't ask questions. WHY? *sigh* I'll be glad to be going off on maternity leave. My boss has been telling everyone for months now that I'll be off for at least 6 months (try more like 6 weeks due to financial reasons) but I'm seriously thinking a 6 month hiatus sounds like a freaking God send right now. Except for the fact that after 6-8 weeks I'd be itching to get back to work and have some quiet time and not the insanity of having 3 children in our home.

Next Friday is our first appointment with the psychiatrist for Zachary. This appt. is just for Chuck and I. I'm assuming to go over what we feel Zachary's issues and behaviors are, what the background is...both for him and for our family backgrounds, as well as see what this place has to offer and how they may be able to help. And I so hope they can help. Zachary has seemed to be in a bit of a funk lately and is crying at everything. Absolutely everything. It's driving me a little batty.

A few days ago, I had asked him to go potty before naptime. He said "It's okay, momma, I'm wearing a diaper" Now, this is where I should point out that Zachary is almost FIVE! He's been potty trained a full 1 1/2 years. Luke is now to the point where I would consider him potty trained as well (except for today. He's not feeling well and poop is just running out of him, poor kid). Anyway, I ask Zachary if he means his overnight pull up from the night before. Nope, he shows me. He's wearing one of Luke's diapers.

Zachary gets dressed by himself every morning. Picks out his own clothes and fully dresses himself in his room by himself. I never question it because it's never been an issue. But, yes, he's wearing one of Luke's diapers (also for at nighttime). And he peed in it! He'd wore it all morning at school and then peed in it! WTH? So when Zachary gets into bed for naptime, after changing into underwear at my insistance, he sighs. Really, really heavy-like. I asked him what the matter was. His response: It's just so hard being 4. *big sigh* I wish I were 1 again. It's easier being 1.

Now, it's so hard to not laugh. Because honey if you think 4 is hard, try being almost 30, pregnant with 2 kids and being a working mom. But I withheld the laughter. Because in a way it's kinda sad to me. My kid has such worrisome things on his mind that being 4 sucks. And his brain works in such a way that it upsets him and he worries and thinks about these things. And that worries me too.

So, I'm looking forward to talking with the dr. Plus, on a side note, Chuck and I have to go to the big city ALONE. Maybe we'll have a nice dinner out after the dr. appointment :)

CHUCK!!!!

If you happen to read this, please call me at work.

The phone line switched over to the digital and the cordless isn't plugged in, so I can't get through to you. I left a voicemail.

I'm trying to figure out how to see if we have voicemails and how to retrieve them now :)

Random Thoughts Tuesday

Maybe I should make this a regular posting. Every Tuesday I spurt forth all my random shit for the week.

Have you ever felt like you are just nothing in this world. Like no one truly gives a shit about you other than to tell you what you are doing wrong and what you should be doing? No matter how much you care about other people and want to and try to get involved in their lives, you're just an insignificant particle of dust on their shoe to be wiped off? Yea, I feel like that tonight.

I hate know-it-alls. And I work with a few. One is telling me that the cold I have is bronchitis and I need to see the dr. NOW. And just why don't you take medicine? Doesn't matter that you are pregnant and don't want the baby to come out deformed. At least I'd be comfortablle. Pah! Oh yea, and then there is the know-it-all that is bound and determined that SHE did it right, so therefore it must be computer error. *sigh* I hate that. It's called "OE" honey. (That's operator error for those not knowing the lingo).

I think it's God's cruel little joke that men and women are on different horniness schedules. No, seriously. I think maybe it's like natural birth control or something. I'm not feeling well today...headache, sinus pressure, sore throat, just feeling pretty shitty. Today is the day Chuck decides to stay home from work and wants to get it on. Um, no. Seriously, I'm almost ALWAYS up for it but I feel incredibly UN-SEXY coughing up phlegm. Maybe our issue is also the night-day thing...because he's raring to go in the mornings...and I'm soooo ready to go when I get home from work at night at...oh....1:30 am. When he's sleeping. Yea, makes for some great times huh?

I think it's hotter than a stuffed pig in this building. I hate that the state can't regulate the temperatures any better than this. My hands are swollen, my feet are swollen, and I think I'm dehydrating. I need to be chugging more water that's for damn sure.

65 more days. Okay, I freaked out a little bit about that yesterday. 65 more days. That's like almost 2 months exactly till I have this baby! Yikes! Where did the time go? How the hell am I going to get anything done at all? I'm getting to the point in my pregnancy where I'm running out of breath really easily and fatigued a lot more. *sigh* Just running after the boys is wearing me out. I think I might suggest my brother's suggestion to Chuck of just hiring out the drywall job. We'll see.

I need new shoes. Period. And maybe a nice new purse/wallet combination. Mine sucks.

99 Luftballoons

So, this really doesn't have ANYTHING to do with the song at all. Just a funny story involving my oldest son, Zachary.

I have a red bra. It's see-through and really hot and of course, my hubby loves it because it's the most uncomfortable bra I have. But my boobs do look good in it.

I was in my bedroom dressing one day when Zachary walked in. I told him to go out and get ready to go that momma was getting dressed. I hadn't put my bra on yet...and he asked what that metal bar was through your booby. I explained that mommy had a ring through her nipples just like I have a ring through my ears. I hurriedly put my red bra on (I had NO other bras washed that day).

He points to my boobs and says "Hey, look momma, you have 2 red balloons!"

OMG, I don't know how I stopped myself from dying of laughter. "Yep, buddy sure looks like it doesn't it?"

Chuck got a HUGE kick out of it, of course.

So, not much has been said from Zachary about it since I stopped wearing that red bra.

Until today.

I was picking him up from school and his little friend said "Hey Zachary, you're mommy is going to get a new baby!"

Zachary said "YEP! And you know what else she's got? TWO big red balloons right here!" and spreads his hands across his chest.

Luckily the teachers didn't hear, and there were no questions...so I chuckled to myself and high tailed it out of there!

Hopes becoming realized

Have you ever had something that you wanted soo bad and then when it's just about on your doorstep, you step back and think "holy shit! What's going on? Did I want this?"

I'm freaking out a little. Just *a little*.

Last week, Zachary was observed for the first time by the KEEP counselor. Tuesday I was able to meet with Sheila and we talked for almost an hour. I was very upfront and forthcoming with her (as that's just who I am) and discussed some of our biggest concerns for Zachary. I explained that we saw a psychologist about 7 1/2 months ago who seemed like he would be on the right track but never got back with us. I explained that Chuck was diagnosed bipolar after a very, very rough few months. I explained that we've seen differences in Zachary since he was about 18 months old. I think because Chuck grew up bipolar and probably ADD, we look for things since it is highly hereditary. At first, we didn't know WHAT we were looking at, but I like to be somewhat knowledgeable and looked at a bunch of stuff and try to know my kid. So I gave her all my opinions and observations and background, and was told that we were seeing things way before most parents AND very astute for seeing these things.

She suggested that we (meaning her and us) contact this Dr. that specializes in bipolar and either rule it out or get a handle on it first. Especially since this Dr. is a big guru in the feild and runs a bipolar assessment clinic. I said GREAT! Let's see what he has to say.

Sheila called me this morning. Said things were moving a lot faster than anticipated and normal. Said that the Dr. emailed her back almost immediately and wants us to contact him directly to set up the appointments and get information. So, I googled his name.

Wow. Seriously, this guy has written books on the Bipolar Child. Has a bipolar child himself. Tours the country lecturing on the behaviors of bipolar children and teaches pediatric psychology. AND collaborates with another specialist on bipolar children and autism. (Aspergers is one of the things that has been brought up before). AND Dr. Glovinsky does all the testing for the gifted children for a big school in the Detroit area.

I feel so damn lucky to be able to have this opportunity to get Zachary in with someone GREAT. And for Free! Yes, free. He donates his time through the community health department (which is the program Sheila works with is through).

But I just feel like OMG...what's happening? What if it is these things? How do I deal and cope? What if it's not? I'm going to feel like a tool for making a mountain out of a mole hill.

Now, of course, I've already called the dr. and am waiting for a return call and we'll do whatever is necessary to get Zachary whatever help he needs for him AND us to be successful. But I still feel like everything is moving so fast now and I just don't know what to think or do.

I'm weird....I know that.

But this post is going to prove that.

There are a few people out there I find hot. Usually it has to do somewhat with an accent.

But there are a few that makes even me scratch my head.

Mr. Tumnus from Narnia. He's pretty hot AND he has an accent.

I think it has to do with the expressiveness in his eyes. I was watching Narnia the other day with the boys and his eyes and eyebrows just struck me as so sexy. I find a man who can talk with their eyes VERY attractive. One of the reasons I fell for my husband and why I love winks.

And then there is this one. Why? I don't know. I think it goes

back to the expressiveness in his features during the commercials. I wonder what he looks like WITHOUT makeup.

I was told by Chuck today that ABC has purchased the rights to make a sitcom of the Geico caveman from the commercials. I'll be interested to see it because quite frankly the commercials almost make me pee my pants. Well, it's not really that hard to do anymore BUT they are pretty funny.

Okay, so I find out that one of the cavemen is Ben Weber. Funnily enough he's not that hot as a non-caveman guy. Shucks.

It's very sad that I'm spending my lunch hour looking this shit up. Lately I've been all about deep random thoughts that mean absolutely nothing.

I AM SPEED!

LOL...I'm probably gonna have to explain that one later.

Random Thoughts

* I hate it when people come up and talk and talk and talk and then as soon as you start to say a funny anecdote or something, they are "way too busy to talk" and run the other way. Seriously now, I'm not that boring am I? And IF I am, why talk to me in the first place?

*I think my dog, Jake, caught a mouse and ate it today. I'm so glad he's such a good mouser BUT I'd prefer he did it while I'm not at home. I am getting chills just from thinking about it.

*We have adopted a second dog now too. Kodi. He's a good boy. But DAMN that dog is ALWAYS underfoot. And he's a Lab/Chow mix so he's not small! I feel like I'm constantly tripping over him. But he's a good protector, and I know that's why he wants to always be where I'm at (or Chuck).

*Where did my sweet, always happy, ready to do anything for you Lucas go to? Oh wait. He's almost 3. *sigh* I think if I hear "But it's not FAIR!" one more time I'm going to scream. Or the whining, or crying, or temper tantrums. I told Mom that today and she laughed. Said "you were the same way, Lis" Great. Now I get to look forward to more of me from my second child.

*Sometimes you can hear partial stories from people and think "What the hell? My friend is an absolute crackhead!" That happened to me today...I don't know the whole story but there is something about snorting pixie sticks (I learned not to do that in 5th grade...I thought I was cool) and gumbo. I don't think I want to know anymore. I'd like to still think of my friend as somewhat intelligent.

*I've been reading another blog called Onion Rings and usually laugh every time I read it. As I was reading one of her posts from recent days, I was so happy to know I'm not the only anal person regarding the correct usage of words. In particular, your and you're. I HATE reading spelling errors and inproper usage of words. However, I don't always go back and correct my own mistakes. Go figure. (Oh, and this is the American English language I'm referring to...not the other one from across the pond).

*I love it when I come home to a clean house. It's so nice to come in the door and not trip over toys. I wish we could always have it that way when daddy comes home, but he comes home in the afternoon and the boys are still playing!

*My head is hurting for the second day in a row now. Yesterday I thought it was due to lack of caffeine in my diet (I didn't stop for my morning coke). However, I DID stop today and I still have a headache. Oh, and heartburn. Yay for pregnancy.

*Tomorrow is gymnastics day for Luke and mommy. But I still don't know if they'll be open. Bad mommy for not calling earlier today.

*I had this really, really funny thing I wanted to mention in my RT for today, but I forgot. Damn pregnancy brain.