Zachary's presents to us...

This is kinda late but it seems like I'm always late lately!

For Mother's and Father's Day the preschool that Zachary attends did "presents" for each of us. Zachary drew a picture at the top of the paper and at the bottom they put a My Mom (or Dad) is... sheet that they helped him fill in.

It really put a little bit of things in perspective as to how maybe Zachary sees us. And how we need to maybe change some things so that he sees us in the light we may want him to see us in.

Happy Mothers DAy!

My mom is 30 years old.

My mom looks prettiest when on Wednesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays.

My mom likes to make pancakes, cookies and chocolate cookie bars.

My mom always says: "I can't have a cookie before dinner"

My mom is funniest when she sprays me with water and then laughs at me.

First of all, I'm not 30. I'm only 29. I told Zachary:

Hey, bubba balloo, mommy isn't 30.

Z: Oh yeeeaaaa!!! I forgot, you're 40!!!!

Eek! Are you kidding me child?? LOL.

I told Chuck after reading mine that it sounds horrible!!! "sprays me with water and then laughs at me"? But in Zachary language, I think that's a good thing. He LOVES playing squirt guns and I love playing them with him...and when I get him, I do laugh hysterically. So maybe it's a good comment. And I do love to bake...especially with him. It's the one thing that we can do together that he listens very well at and is a great helper. I enjoy that special mommy/son time with him. I also wondered what was so special that I did different on Wednesdays, Thursday and Saturdays, so maybe I could do it more often!

Happy Fathers Day!!

My Dad is 20 years old.

My Dad likes to have me help him cook.

My dad always says, "if I hit my brother I will go in time-out".

My dad is funny when he me and my brother laugh at each other and then everybody likes to laugh at me and my brother.

I love my dad because I like to play with him.

Chuck thought it was absolutely hilarious that Zachary said he's 20 and I'm 30 (and then 40) when in actuality Chuck is going to be 38 this year. But he does look young :)

The ways kids perceive things amazes me. Chuck HATES having Zachary help cook. That's something that I do. Chuck has no patience for it, because it's a task that needs to get done right now. Whereas I have no patience for playing games, like Chuck does. But apparently Zachary doesn't see it that way...which is okay in my book.

I love the fact that Zachary sees his and his dad's relationship as a laughing, playing one. It warms my heart to know that there is such a warm bond there that will help Zachary to become a strong, warm man.

There are days...

I just feel downright OLD.

Most days I don't even think about it. My day moves along at a regular steady pace. The same as the day before.

What made me say holy cow today?

I was on "myspace" checking my account and my best friend's little sister left me a comment. She's a few years younger than us. A year older than my brother.

I saw her age...and thought to myself

"nah, thaat's gotta be wrong. She can't be 26 because she's a few years younger than me...and *smacks head* I'm not 26 anymore!!!"

I just feel like since the boys were born I haven't aged. At all. Apparently, I have and so has the rest of the world.

My sweet-a-holic

You'd think I NEVER let Lucas have sweets. Which totally isn't the case...we just don't eat them all the time.

For Easter, my aunt and uncle bought us a 4 lb bag of Jelly Belly Jelly Beans. I love Jelly Belly's and we still have quite a few left!!!

One thing I've learned about Lucas is it doesn't matter where I put the jelly beans, he WILL find them and EAT them! Yesterday, I took them from one high shelf and put them on another high shelf. I was sitting here reading my mom's board and heard Lucas scrapping one of the kitchen chairs across the floor...really working hard at moving it INTO the living room. Sure enough he had refound the jelly beans, used the chair to climb up and get them and was happily snacking on a handful.

*sigh* The joys of raising my monkeys. That's what this blog should be called...My life and my monkeys!

And...if he can't find the jelly beans? The candle will work just as well. Nope, he doesn't eat wax, he's much smarter than that! For Valentine's Day, the boys and I made a candle for daddy with those little conversation candy hearts on it. If Lucas is feeling his sweet attacks come on and can't find the jelly beans, he'll sit down and start peeling those little hearts off of the jar and eating them. That jar is missing A LOT of candy hearts now.

If you ever come to my house, or see my boys, don't leave your candy laying around. It just may not be there when you come back :)

THE doctor appt.

Well, the boys are incredibly strong and healthy boys! Yay! Zachary is still off the charts in height and 90th percentile for weight and Lucas is 90th for height, 75th for weight. Dr. said that they are very well proportioned. She also said Chuck and I are the poster children for what parents should be doing *puffing out my chest just a little* She was surprised at how well we have the kids eating and drinking, etc.

But onto the biggest reason I wanted to talk to her.

She started off by asking me how preschool was going...to which I answered not so well. And I kinda described some of the basic stuff...he was bouncing off the walls, unable to focus, etc.

Dr. begins to tell me that they don't like to diagnose ADHD this early in children.

So then I say, "well, I don't think that's it completely" and handed her the list I made up of all the weird things that Zachary does or says or behaves. (like punching himself in the head if he's overstimulated). Why didn't I just explain it all to her in detail? Because true to form, Zachary was BOUNCING off the walls.

Dr. did have Zachary do a series of things to see where he was at developmentally...just really simple stuff. One of the things kinda surprised her...and me really.

She asked him "Zachary-go pick up that car please?"

He did.

Zachary, can you put that car on the chair?

He did. and stepped next to the chair.

Zachary, can you put the car behind your back?

So he stepped in front of the chair.

Her reaction?? "OHHHHHH. Okay."

I think she was a little surprised that he didn't pick up the car and put it behind his back like even I would have. Like I've said, Zachary thinks outside of the box.

So, all said and done she said that it definitely sounds like something else is going on and that we need some help with it before school starts (THANK GOD!!) so she referred us to a supposedly GREAT neuropsychologist. I think the fact that I explained to her that Chuck was bipolar also convinced her that maybe something else was happening.

I asked about seeing an Asperger specialist and she said that it could be a couple of other things too so she wanted to rule out all the other options.

So, now to try to get in with the psychologist. Wish us luck.

Asperger's Syndrome

Well, today I head out to the pediatrician for both boy's well kid check ups. It got pushed back a little bit in order for both boys to go at once. I'm anxious about today's check up for Zachary because I'm going to discuss with the dr. my concerns re: Zachary and his behavior and the possibility for it.

I met a woman, through the grace of God, about a week and a half ago who's son as Asperger's. There have been four things that I've looked into for Zachary but not one of them has fit all the bills for Zachary's behavior and learning problems/paths. I have absolutely no idea how Cody and I got on the subject of our sons, but we found out that they are AMAZINGLY alike, despite the 3 year age difference.

Once we were talking about Asperger's and behavior, the very first thing she asked me was "Does he play with your ears?" WHAT? I was astounded...how did she know that? WEll so does her son, and apparently according to the specialist it's very common with Asperger's children. I've always found it weird that Zachary plays and rubs our ears but thought it was just a quirk of him...and maybe it is. I'm hoping to have some concrete answers soon. (not today)

But so many things add up now.
His inability to focus on certain things, and yet his extreme intelligence for mathematics and complex problem solving.

The aptitude for him to get SOOO involved in a project (usually his games) that he'll pee himself without knowing or thinking about it. And the fact that you physically have to get his attention when he's in "the zone".

How he gets SOOO overexcited when put into new situations or with new people, then because of that excitement punches himself in the head.

How he CANNOT tolerate a change to his routine or order of his toys or stuffed animals. That will create a total meltdown.

How he takes everything so extremely literally and get so upset that you are calling him "turkey" when his name is Zachary.

How he so desperately wants to play with other children and can't. He doesn't seem to possess the ability to interact with others AT ALL. He has no idea of personal space or boundaries. And other kids don't like that. I don't know how many times I've picked him up from school and found him playing with himself. And he gets so upset by it, but can't seem to make that change.

His inability to understand my "angry face"....I've always found it weird that he doesn't get "the LOOK" and yet Lucas does.

I've had people tell me "oh, I hope it's not that" but in some ways I really do. It would answer so many questions and also help to lead us on the correct path to helping him adjust and learn in a better, more positive way. I really want him to succeed in school and things aren't looking too good at preschool.

So we'll see where we go this afternoon. I'm hoping for a great referrel for testing.

Stupid people

Seriously, I've had plenty enough of stupid people. I feel like I'm surrounded by them. Everytime I go somewhere, there is more stupid people. And they are raising a whole other generation of stupid people. I feel sorry for those kids.

Stupid person #1:
http://www.montgomeryadvertiser.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20060605/NEWS02/606050317/1009 Check out this article. This woman is suing for damages to her child that she tried to ABORT. That's right...she didn't want the baby, signed papers with Planned Parenthood stating that she was having the abortion and negating them of all liability to her body...but wait. The job wasn't done. So now the baby has problems. Don't you think that you would KNOW that you were still pregnant as you kept growing and started feeling the baby move and such. How can you sue for damages when you didn't want the child in the first place? Give the baby to someone who did and stop trying to make money off of the poor thing.

Stupid person #2: Pit bull owners who think it's funny to have a killer dog.

My new neighbor recently moved in and obtained 2 pit bulls. Now, I have nothing against pit bulls, per se. I do have something against dogs that were bred and trained to fight, abused and then removed from the home and then put next to us and our two boys. They charge the fence daily. I was explaining my concern to some co-workers. One of these people stated that they too have a pit bull.

"*snicker, snicker* Our dog broke his chain and ran across the street and killed the dog across the street. *more snickering* And now that he has the taste of blood he tries to attack everyone that comes over. He attacked my husband's niece. *smile, guffaw*"

What the hell is wrong with people?!?! Why is this funny? Why the hell would you even attempt to keep that dog alive, knowing that he was a trained fighting dog, attacked and killed another dog, and attacked your niece........especially with a 22 month old baby in the house???

Stupid people #3: People who ask for opinions and then get offended when it's not what they wanted to hear.

I HATE this. Don't ask for my opinion if you don't want me to tell you the honest to God truth. I don't usually sugar-coat things. I won't intentially offend you, but at the same time, I won't tell you what you want to hear.

If you are looking for validation that what you are doing is right, be a woman/man and say so. Don't try to hide behind the words: "let me ask your opinion" and then get pissy with me when I don't say what you want me to say.

Stupid people #4: Women who tell their young beautiful daughters that they are fat and need to go on a diet.

True story. I was at our local convenience store (same one I had my epiphany at!). A woman who was disgustingly thin (think meth lab addict thin) came in with her 8 or 9 year old daughter. She was beautiful...a very exotic mix of races. She had that tell-tale prepubescent tummy pouch that so many girls have right before they start their periods. And she didn't have it as much as I've seen some have.

Her mother was bad-mouthing her to me and the cashier from the moment they walked in!

-"Look at her, all she does is eat. She's gonna be so fat"
-"Seriously you need to stop eating so much you are getting fat"
-"Let me see that fat tummy of yours...come-on lift up your shirt. You need to be on a diet!"

Grrr...I was *this* close to punching her. Seriously. I wonder if she realizes that she is probably PUSHING her into a weight problem.

Stupid people #5: People who are old enough to know better not to say something down right rude!

Today, I was picking up the boys from school. Zachary ran out ahead of me and was climbing into the Jeep via the window. (something he KNOWS he's not supposed to be doing!) It's a Jeep Sport so it's kinda high off the ground and a guy (I was going to say gentleman, except he was anything but!) saw Zachary doing this and said "Wow, that's kind of impressive!" To which I replied, "yea, he's a little monkey". His reply?

"Huh, wonder how that works. I mean, considering, doesn't look like you could be one."

Um, seriously? I know I'm overweight and all, but that is just freaking RUDE! Shut up you beer-belly'd old man and go about your business and stay out of mine, Thank you very much!

Okay, I feel a little bit better getting that off my chest.

My epiphany

I've done it.

I've conquered yet another hurdle in my eating issues.

For this I'm extremely happy, even if it was for only one moment.

Monday night I went to the local convenience store and purchased a piece of pineapple/mango cake.

It sounded divine!

I couldn't wait to get in the car and rip it open and enjoy it. So on my way back to work, I did just that.

The first bite was not so good.

The second bite was worse.

So I figured, I'll try a third bite, right?

NASTY!

So I said to myself : "Self, this is the most disgusting piece of cake ever. I know that you paid good hard money for it, but seriously this is just nasty! Stop eating it!"

So, I did.

I listened to my inner voice.

After work, I tried it again thinking maybe something was wrong with my taste buds earlier.

It was still nasty! So I went home and threw it in the trash.

Yay for me! Normally, I would say heck no! I paid money for it and it is a sweet afterall...like it or not, you need to eat it.

So here's to more listening to that inner self!

My carnivores!

Hot on the heels of a post by Staci (http://stacischoff.blogspot.com) about "Is your kid a Vegetarian" I had a funny experience with Zachary today regarding, of all things, meat!

First off, I'm so extremely excited. We had order a 1/4 of a beef from a co-worker so that we would get a cheap price for bulk beef and good farm fed, organic beef at that! I grew up eating farm-raised beef from my family's farm and I loved it. It was quite a transition going from that to having to buy beef in the store.

Today was the day that the boys and I ventured out to get the 1/4 slab of beef. We had stopped by a mommy friend's house first and played for a while and had lunch. We took a walk down across her 4 acres to the river across the street. It was beautiful (but a little mosquito-y, which Zachary-the allergic one-was quick to point out!). But at least the boys got some of their energy out and were quiet and asleep on the 1/2 hour drive to get the beef.

Zachary woke up when I was opening the back door of the Jeep to put the meat in. He was so groggy, only having slept about 45 minutes (I took a wrong turn).

He looked at me in that hazy sleep and asked "Momma, what are we doing here?"

Me: "We are picking up our cow, remember?"

Z: (Watching them put 3 large boxes of meat in our truck) "Um, momma, how are we going to make a cow out of that?"

Me: "well, that used to be a cow and then they took it and turned it into meat."

Z: "Oh, okay!"

So I guess it's okay that they took the cow and made it into meat because there was no more discussion about why or how that happens. For that I'm extremely thankful!

From the mouths of babes though...everything is sooo literal. So beware the next time you talk about your meat!

Boys to Men

When does this happen? I mean I know little boys have all the same parts as men, but when and how does this happen?

Lucas Michael last night decided 12:30 am would be the perfect time to wake up. I don't think he's feeling too hot so he wanted to be rocked in the chair. So we rocked, he screamed, we rocked some more, he drank a glass of milk, we rocked some more.

He was laying on his back across my lap. He's 2. And he's on the taller side of a 2 year old so he doesn't exactly fit on my lap anymore. But I love it, so we work with it.

He had lifted up his shirt in that "I'm almost asleep" haze and was playing with his belly button. I though to myself:

Self, you should blog about that. About how he does some things that are so much like yourself!

Then it happened.

My little boy became a "man".

As I watched him half asleep and reminisced about all the wonderful times I've rocked him to sleep, he stuck his hand down the front of his diaper and promptly fell asleep.

Is this ingrained behavior in their little boy brains? Does God make them with the predisposition to sticking hands down the front of their pants? Because Chuck doesn't sit around and do that so I don't think it is a learned behavior. Ah well, I still love him!!! He's just growing up :)